Monday, September 10, 2012

Take the road

Having applied for a driving license within just weeks from getting to the legal age for applying does qualify me as a person eligible to write a post on it. This isn,t really a post with a lot of statistical data and technical analysis. This post is all about my thought process while driving in the still developing roads of india and on a developed roads of the middle east.

The License

Lets start with the driver's license itself. I remember my home country licensing as a pretty easy affair. I did not get a panic attack. The test was simple and was out of a set of standard quiestions out of a booklet and was much of a mugging up. Once the test was through i was handed a learner's license and could learn to drive pretty much the way i felt. I never really saw a driving scholl and i can vouch most of my friends those days didn't either. It was learn by my own and the final driving test was simple. The day i went for test i gave some money to a driving school guy to use his vehicle for the test and some tips on how to take the H & 8 . And oooo laaa... I was licensed to drive

With this experince of having a license and having driven for nearly 8 years i went up to this country to apply for license I could only register for it and i was send straight to the driving school. Ath the school based on my years of driving experience in home country they were generous to give me a test to see if i can face the police driving test straight away. I failed miserabily. It was a revelation that i had only learned how to operate a motor vehicle and had not really learne to drive. It took me 3 months in the driving school with systematic learning and asssments to finally clear the police road test in first attempt. Here i learned how to drive. I learned driving is more than just winning on the road.

The fear of being caught

The understanding of the rules through systematic study, the understanding of the implications of breaking the rules, the severity of the implications and the knowledge that i am being watched and if i am caught i can not really get off by paying a bribe keeps me away from breaking these rules intentionally.

The understanding of accidents

Inspite of the fact that i graduated in automobile engineering, it too me a session in the accident simulators to understand why a seatbelt can really save my life.

Now in a highly populus country where accidents are a common thing, shouldn't we really think a bit more seriously about reducing it

Tuesday, September 04, 2012


Thanks to a blood test and few tips of wisdom from a cousin, i was forced out of bed early mornings for a walk in the beach front. If felt like walking up the himalayas but slowly i started enjoying it. May be it is the walk and the sweat that i enjoy or may be it is the peace and the morning sun rise.

This new habit did give me some opportunities to see how beautiful nature is and it is fools like me who ignored it for so long. Happiness is not to be searched for, it is there within us. We just have to look inside and let it happen. 

Another good thing that happened out of this habit is i started thinking inward, which resulted in much more peace of mind.

Saturday, March 24, 2012

Hard Work & Commitment

Its after a long time that I am writing something. This post is dedicated to all the people who have slogged to build organizations. Who have beat the heat and come up from scratch. Who have burned their sweat for the betterment of the company that is paying them. To those who have valued commitment and perseverance as their philosophy of life.

The Stupid

Why don't you change your job ?, asked his friends. His reply came after a thought, "I don't understand why i should". " See you joined as a entry level engineer and you are still the same, see this is our third or fourth job and see where we are now". He remains silent. "You can never be a manager there, you can not grow", they kept talking. . He is deep sunk in thought, the thoughts of how good his colleges are to him, how comfortable he is in his work place, how good his company has paid him and taken care of his needs. Suddenly he is alerted by a tap on his shoulder " Come on, change the job man".

The Definition of Hard Work

The stories of how a company is built from scratch is the one I love most to listen to. I have heard a lot of them and I still find time to listen to them. There is an emotional bond that is formed between the employee and the "Organization"; especially when he has seen it being built, when he is involved in building it brick by brick. I have heard stories of people who have been involved with organization from the very beginning, the conception stage. Who have found very little difference in their personal and professional life. Those who have not been suffering their whole life but was achieving things every day.

It is a choice that has to be made, whether you want to be a "Professional" who will never be satisfied with anything in life or be a happy, loyal employee who can find happiness in going for work. We spend a good part of our life at work and it is a place to be enjoyed rather than suffered.

If anybody expected a conclusive statement at the end of the post. I am sorry disappointing you even I don't know.

Wednesday, February 02, 2011

The beauty queen

I dont know why...
I keep falling in love..with you..
No matter how many times i see you..
I keep craving for more...

Its your beauty...
Or is it the mystery..
Or is it your mood swings...
I know not.. but i can't stop loving you..

I watched you sleep..
I watched you play..
I saw your anger..
I saw your tears...

The noon.. the sun ...shining on you
Your glittering attire...
The dusk.. i saw your anger..
You lashed out your waves...
You punished the guilty...

I still love your beauty...
Beauty i see nowhere else..

Friday, December 24, 2010

The myth...

Its December... one more year is passing away.... But is there a "Year" in reality ??? Is there a real 2010 and 2011 ?? Its all assumptions so well used that we feel its real. So are the there a distinction in two sect of people ? No... its just like 2010 & 2011.... a myth...

Its up to you .. if you wanna believe god exists... go ahead and do it... We still use "Infinity" for all the numbers we have not seen or used ??? so why not name the one you have not seen or experienced or you can't identify with anything else as "God" . Does it make a difference if my infinity is better than your infinity ???? so how is your god better than his ?? If the belief that there is some one to take care of you and supports you gives you strength why not believe in that theory ? If you dont what that and you are enough for yourself good... take it that way..

Is there any reason to prove that my god is better than yours'. Ohhh the "heaven"... are you ready to give me all your wealth if i tell you i can reserve a seat for you in heaven ??? then why try to reserve a seat by proving your relegion is better or by killing people for "God" and take a ticket to heaven.....

You dont really need to be the "enlightened" and " love all others... hate none." .. lets be more practical.. for a start.. try loving yourself... love yourself sooo intensely that you know you are perfect and so is everyone there is no reason to prove anything.

Sunday, March 14, 2010


Happiness is a state of mind induced by our thoughts and personality.

Happiness comes to you only of you invite it.... invite with your full commitment...

You have to crave for it.. and wish for it with your whole self... throw all the garbage out..... throw all the negatives.. all that hurts you.... all that you miss.. all that which you coudn't achieve.... all that you feel will make you happy...

Search for happiness within yourself... enjoy the thing you do...

Then the flower of happiness will blossom and spread its fragrance...

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Isha Yoga Centre

My trip to Isha Yoga Foundation- Dhyana Linga

I came to know about this place through a friend in Orkut who had uploaded the photographs of her visit. I searched for about a month to find the location. This being in Coimbatore i never thought that i'll be able to visit this place. When finally destiny had brought me to coimbatore. It took me 3 months to plan a visit. When i finally did it was worth the wait. This is such a wonderful place. The dilemma of Idol worship and spiritual path is clearly united here.

Saturday, March 06, 2010


Spirituality need not wait...

I think its just a simple thing (May be an Attitude) which can go hand in hand with you daily normal life....

There is no point in being tooo competitive about life...

At some point of life there should be a stop to looking around for better work place... need to accept the reality and adjust to life.. so i am gonna do that... may be the perfect work place is just a myth. The happiness at workplace comes from how you are ready to accept the reality...

So just take it as it is and move on.... !!!


If everything is perfect then we dont need people to work in any organization.. just machines and operators will do. We are there coz problems are there. Problems are what is keeping our job alive. But if you dont't solve enough of them it will choke your job to death. So kill as many as you can and make sure "what you have killed will never come back to life". Face the new ones with all the vigour and might. Kill them too, but be grateful to them coz they are the reason why you exist.

Too dreamy is it ??? Thats ok.. we still can sort this out... i have just started walking in this road.

I'm back....

I'm back on blogs after 8 months.....

Some changes did happen....

1. I have left the desert and is back in India....
2. Got engaged and is gonna get married in a months time...
3. Have moved from production/quality to "Marketing" !!!! Yes the same me who never ever agreed for it...

Good... new experience....

Friday, May 29, 2009

Spirituality Can Wait...

I was in an eternal dilemma for quiet some time now... i was noticing some changes in me... the intrusion of feelings like fear into the system and it has infiltrated to such an extent that i was feeling like an eighty year old. I noticed my reluctance to drive over a 60kmps mark and my concerns over the onset of rain before or during a trip... what happened to me.. even if its getting older or getting mature .. why the hell am i being numb and letting it happen.... this change may bring peace but is not bringing any happiness more over its making me feel lonely... 

Spirituality can wait... lemme resist this change and fight for happiness... 

Sunday, April 19, 2009

The Extraordinary

I have seen different people in my career at UAE, i have been dealing with workers as an intermediary between them and the management. Take their problems to management and implement management decision.. yes it was a tedious job...

1. Shajahan : He was working in my dept as a worker. I was stunt at the way he speaks English, very fluent. I got interested in this person. I spoke to him and i came to know that he worked in an embassy before coming to UAE for job. The work he was doing was really stressful and tiring but he was always enthusisastic. He had the drive to move forward. He finally landed up with an additional responsibility of teaching other workers English language, a non profit making effort by that noble young man. Truly inspirational.

2. Mohan : He was a grinder (Worker) he had interest in computers, drawings etc. He bough a computer , installed autocad and started learning on his own he requested his supervisor to get training in technical stuff but his request was turned down. He persisted attended trainings during his vacation and came back with certificates. Tried to work his way up again.. again his request was turned down by supervisor.... He took a drastic step made drawings on his own and met the CEO . He was permitted to do training in QC dep as unpaid apprentice for 2 months. He struggled his way up and finally landed up in R&D dept as methods engineer.

Soooo many people with the will and drive to excel and successful in doing it.. this world is large enough for those who want it so...

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

Devilish Red

Red....i used to love you...
Red you used to smoothen my eyes
You used to bring me hope
You brought joy....

Red i am afraid...
Afraid of you...
I see you as blood..
Blood from my bleeding soul...

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

Devil Dance

She is beautiful
Her eyes full of love
Her words had magic
Thatv took me for a ride

She showed me dreams
She gave me hopes
She showed me new meanings
To my life i used to hate

She blindfolded me in love
I drowned in her love
She kissed me
She hugged me

Now when i wake up from the dream
Breaking her spells
I see the devil in her
Laughing at me...

She killed my soul
She oozed my love
She is happy
When she saw me dying

I cried for my life
She acted deaf
I ran for my life
She pulled me back

Now she is dancing
Dancing on my grave
Its her wedding dance
Right above my grave

My soul weeps
Weeps in hurt
Weeps in insult
Laughing at me....

Sunday, January 07, 2007

Platonic Love

Platonic love in its modern popular sense is an affectionate relationship into which the sexual element does not enter, especially in cases where one might easily assume otherwise. A simple example of platonic relationships is a deep, non-sexual friendship between two heterosexual people of the opposite sexes
At the same time, this interpretation is a misunderstanding of the nature of the Platonic ideal of love, which from its origin was that of a chaste but passionate love, based not on uninterest but virtuous restraint of sexual desire. In its original Platonic form, this love was meant to bring the lovers closer to wisdom and the Platonic Form of Beauty. It is described in depth in Plato's Phaedrus and Symposium. In the Phaedrus, it is said to be a form of divine madness that is a gift from the gods, and that its proper expression is rewarded by the gods in the afterlife; in the Symposium, the method by which love takes one to the form of beauty and wisdom is detailed.

Saturday, August 19, 2006

Boredom- Clinical

Boredom is an unpleasant state of mind in which one interprets one's environment as dull, tedious, and lacking stimuli. There is an inherent hopelessness in boredom; people will expend considerable effort to prevent or remedy it, yet in many circumstances it is accepted as an inevitable suffering to be endured. A common way to escape boredom is through creative thoughts or daydreaming.

Time often seems to move more slowly to someone who experiences boredom; this results from the way in which the human mind measures the passage of time, combined with the infrequency of events perceived as notable.

A typical teenager's complaint is that there is 'nothing to do'; this statement can have a number of economic and social causes. Younger teens cannot drive, but in many communities are unable to get anywhere without a car possibly due to lack of public transportation. It may also mean that their desired sources of entertainment are too expensive. It could also be a symptom of learned helplessness, possibly related to boredom experienced at school.

Far from being a minor annoyance, boredom can have major negative impacts on people. Perhaps more importantly, boredom is often a symptom of deeper problems, such as depression, ineffective teaching, or ineffective management in a workplace

Sunday, June 04, 2006

The Most Outspoken Enlightened Man of the centuary

Constrained Optimisation

Every individual prefers to live a happy and peaceful life. We expect our days to be bright ! Does this happen often ? Any way for me i do not think so. Human beings can never maximise happiness, human life is completely constrained. Man is born in chains and will die in chains ! The process of human life is just a change in chains, addition or deletion of the same.
Any activity a person intending to do will go through a lot of screening process within his mind and the predominent factor affecting the above is the openion of others ! So how much weightage is given for these ? Like wise millions of constraints

Is Love a constraint ???? Just this quiestion would have attracted lot of frowns i am aware of that. But i feel this way.Love is a constraint....and it continues to be one throughout his life. This chain is so strong that its number increases with age of the individual. This is the same constraint which prevents or inhibits the thoughts of a person's pursuit for eternal freedome. So isn't love a constraint ??

Love comes as Parents, Sibblings, Girl/Boy friends, Wife/Husband, Children, Grandchildren...

when is man free ?? when does he do things of his own wish ?? Being the most evolved species is he ever free to do things he wish ? Is maximisation of happiness possible ? No its optimisation , Constrained Optimisation

Monday, May 08, 2006


MAN Born in chains

Will Live in Chains

Will Die in chains

Saturday, April 08, 2006

Heights of Customer Service

For the first time in my life i visited a treassuary yesterday and i saw the heights of customer service. If the full form of PSC is Public Service Commission and if thats how ppl get into this office the name should be changed to Public Screwing Commission coz.

The systems there are obsolete. The Cash reciept was on one corner and then from there the challan was taken to other corner of the office which took 5 min for the peon to carry. I was instructed to wait for the callan counter foil to come. I waited for 53 mins and after utter frustration i approached the peon and he said the challan has not reached this section. I informed him tat the person who was standing behind me in the queue left 45 mins back. He went and checked again ( Another 10 mis) he came back and replied the challan was not there. Then i went back to the cash counter and he checked the floor "my challan for 75,000 Rs was lying on the floor" the peon was happy to see that it was not his mistake and he gave me the counter foil after 5 mins.

World Class service at your FOOT STEPS !!!!!

India SHINE !!! and this kerala is again set for an ellection !!!!

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Wednesday, March 15, 2006


The boy stood on the burning deck
Whence all but he had fled;
The flame that lit the battle's wreck
Shone round him o'er the dead.

Yet beautiful and bright he stood,
As born to rule the storm;
A creature of heroic blood,
A proud, though child-like form.

The flames rolled on–he would not go
Without his Father's word;
That father, faint in death below,
His voice no longer heard.

He called aloud–'say, Father, say
If yet my task is done?
'He knew not that the chieftain lay
Unconscious of his son.

'Speak, father!' once again he cried,
'If I may yet be gone!
'And but the booming shots replied,
And fast the flames rolled on.

Upon his brow he felt their breath,
And in his waving hair,
And looked from that lone post of death
In still yet brave despair.

And shouted but once more aloud,
'My father! must I stay?
'While o'er him fast, through sail and shroud,
The wreathing fires made way.

They wrapt the ship in splendour wild,
They caught the flag on high,
And streamed above the gallant child,
Like banners in the sky.

There came a burst of thunder sound–
The boy–oh! where was he?
Ask of the winds that far around
With fragments strewed the sea!–

With mast, and helm, and pennon fair,
That well had borne their part–
But the noblest thing which perished there
Was that young faithful heart.

Felicia Hemans (1793 - 1835)

Road Not Taken

I kinda love this poem


The revolution is not an apple that falls when it is ripe. You have to make it fall.

Che Guevara

Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Life ?????

1. Define Life ?
A) Life is a big piece of BULL SHIT the more u take it seriously and put ur soul into it the more it will stink

2. Define Love ?
A) The process invented by god to keep guys under control. very little of it means u will crave for more too much of it means u get bugged but it never comes in the perfect mix. so the defenition can be Love is that which comes to your life like a breeze of drizzle and leave ur life like a cyclone or thunderstorm destroying your whole life

3) Define Happiness ?
A) A state of mind u can acheve only when u break all the bonds attached to u

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

My sweet water....

Water so pure...
Her giggles..the songs of nature...
Water so cold..
Water my soul...

There came the giant
The devil.. the cola
He married her...
He kept her in chains

He killed her parents
He locked her beloveds
Devil he is
He married my water

Devil he is
He raped her
He exploited her
She ...poor ...exhausted

Devil he is
He is selling her
He made her a prostitiute
He is selling her to her beloveds
And making them take her...

Rise and revolt
Before he kills her
Before he moves from here
In search of his next prey

Coke..the masters of business

When the students in USA revolt against the brutal acts of coke in India and Columbia ...the students of a management institute in Kerala which is just 3 hrs away from plachimada and whose student comunity has a majority of people from the district of palaghat selling COCA COLA inside the campus

This is a location where students of the neighbouring college , as a protest against coke have imposed a ban on selling coke outside the campus . So what message does this convey " U wana live , u wana get a good job sell ur mom to the MD or ur wife to the MD and PLEASE him " is this a kinda life worth living.....

Its hard time we think before the devil engulfs the Homo sapiens with thnking capacity death...

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

Petrol Pump Strike

Today The comparitively peaceful city of Calicut witnessed an brutal assault and murded out of revenge of a petrol pump employee

But what i want to point out is not that issue which will for sure will come in the news papers . Being vaccation me and my friend set out in my bike for a trip and i happened to go to a petrol pump to fill the relatively empty tank and i was startled by the reply of petrol pump strike as had already coverd half way and i was expecting an empty takn any moment . byt considering the emosions of the workers i decided to take a risk rather than beging ,but the fear of walking in the hot sun really made me ask the lady in the pump for atlest a half litre . But a NO really made me understand their UNITY .

The best part of the story is that when i was about to leave i saw the same lady giving petrol to not one but TWO auto rickshaws which tempted me to ask once more for petrol and even this time reply was same so i walked in their office and a much more insulting NO was the answer form the Lady sitting there

What i couldn't understand was the policy of treating customers in two different was and troubling customers who has nothing to do with the strike

This nation need to change.....

Monday, July 25, 2005

The Drizzle...

Its raining...
Its time for a change..
A journey to the unknown...
Known is Beautiful...So Let Unknown be the Most Beautiful....
There is fragrance of a red rose...All over again...
The Scent reminds the whisper , the giggles...
The Thorns...
The Hopes...The greenery...
Love is in the air...
Like a Rose bud...
Awaiting its turn..

Sunday, June 26, 2005

This is kool...

I got this format from Poornima’s blog

My height (Good things come in small packets) Rest yet to figure out

Yet to figureout


I’m not wearing three things !

Nashtapetta Neelambari
Mein Kamph
Poems by Keats
Nanditayute Kavithakal

Khalil Jibran

The Sound of music
Message in a bottle
Namukku parkan munthiri thoppukal
Thovana thumbikal
City of angels

Sherlock holmes

Khalil Jibran

Smoke one Cigar
Drink one peg on the rocks

Deep Forest
Bekal Fort
Thar Desert


Long nails, short hair, thick eyebrows


Respect for the other
Readiness to say on the face if things are not goin the right way

TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE (in no particular order):
- I’m a sadist
- I’m a communist
- I have very few friends

Thursday, June 23, 2005

Students In USA against Coke

Students Organisation For Labour and Economic Equality has organised protests against the unlawful and brutal acts ok Coca Cola Company in India and Columbia and as a result of that Mishigan university in USA has informed Coco Cola company to start an enquiry on the matter before 25th September and submit a report failing which they will bring a ban in the university on coke products and they will lose the business

This was a result of the complaint given to the university by the association one year back and the protests staged by them . In USA several universities have banned coca cola products one year back and company has a business deal of 13 Lakhs dollars with the university.

This is what a university in USA did to Coca Cola for their deeds in India ! what did our Judiciary and government do ? Isn't it worth thinking...

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

USA Rejected Coke Exported from India

USFDA Rejected fanta exported by COKE INDIA to US because it was found harmful and not sutable for consumption . The consignement no: 29 B C T 99 sent in May was the one that was rejected and the reports have been published in official website of FDA .

Eventhough Centre for science and environment has found out traces of pesticide in Coke products we they are still selling it and people are still using it . That is the impact that these jiants have on our people society and culture.

Realise and react....before its too late

Monday, June 20, 2005


We have to open our eyes and realise what is happening in plachimada this is the time to realise and react the reaction need not be against america or Globalisation but it should atleast beagainst the factor that is hindering the normal life of people in plachimada where there is nothing to support the people . Not even the judiciary ..! where do we seek protection ?

Don't turn the page when u see plachimada , coz there is water still in your well or coz there is more interseting advertisement of aiswarya sippin coke in next page . This is not against ppl in plachimada this is against Humanity..

Don't have to revolt but at least understand and wake up from the sweet dream world where u feel no one will hamper your peace, where no one will drain out water from ur well and sell it to you ,where u think there is a judiciary to protect you and there is military to guard you....wake up and realise that "U" are the endangered ....

Love your fellow beings ... you don't have to sacrifice but at least show a helping hand ...

“At the risk of seeming ridiculous, let me say that the true revolutionary is guided by a great feeling of love.”
—Che Guevara

Tuesday, March 08, 2005


He woke up in the morning and looked at the clock it was 10.45. He got out of bed and washed his face, switched on music which had become an integral part of him ..yeaterdays hangover was still there...the bottles were still lying on the table. And ashtray was full . He walked towards the main door and opened it took the News paper and milk packet it was sunday.

Reading the news paper he walked to the Kitchen, kept milk for boiling and water for Tea. He took two glases poured Milk in one and tea in other. He lit the cigarette and took a sip of tea. He started thinking about her....It all started when they were Studying in first year of Engineering he was in Mech and she was in Comp sci. They were in love for 5 years and ignoring all oppositions from their paernts they got married. The main obstrucle was their religion . After college He got a job in Blore and she got an offer from Chennai. They decided to get married and she rejected that offer he felt so bad about that and told this to her She kissed his hand and said " You are my life , i have nothing more important than you in my life "

There was happiness all around and it seems even god envied that ! Within 3 months he also got a job in Blore and by this time the resistance from her parent's side was leasening . This was a big releaf for them. Her parents started calling them frequently eventhough the topic of conversion was comming up frequntly they enjoyed it.

Finally the day came for which the were waiting for he was waiting outside the labour room and her mom was calling up very frequently from UAE. Nurse came out and Showed that angel he wanted to touch her but tears rolled down his eyes she was beautiful and innocent their Ammu .....he felt so proud.

Her parents droped in within 3 days and they had plans to be with them for 3 weeks they felt really relaxed and they had the feeling that there is some one to care for them. But things started changing when her parents started insisting on Baptising Ammu . He was really shocked when she asked him " What is wrong in that ? only they were there when we had trouble, can't we do this small favour to them" Some how it was settled and they left.
One day suddenly She resigned the job saying that she want to spend full time with ammu he agreed to that coz he always gave value to her decissions.

One day when he returened from office the front door was locked but that was usual as he was the one doing shopping he opened it with his key and went inside he went to the Kitchen and took a bottle of water from the fridge, he went inside the room and he couldn't belive that she went out leaving Ammu alone in the house. He rang up her mob and it was kept on the table and below that there was a letter

" Please don't search for me . I am leaving its not bcoz i don't love you but its coz i love him more it was something like a love we had to abandon due to constrains we tried to forget but now when we met accidently we realised how deeply attached we were..... I know u will take care of ammu better than me...."

Suddenly he felt something on his was ammu standing on his leg tightly holding his leg it was a habit for her even now she is now in 4rd standard.... Ammu said " Pappa this milk is cold...u always do this...ammu came after brushning...good girl no ?" He said yea my love you are very good, I will get you hot milk" She said " its ok pappa i was just joking...come come please switch on the TV" He gave a kiss on her forehead and tears were rolling down his eyes " Ammu asked " Pappa u r thinkin abt Mom " He said " No da never...."

Friday, March 04, 2005

Love Nature

Call me oh my mother
To lie on your lap
Sing me those lullabies
with the spoftest of your leaves

Show me my brothers
I am tired of being lonely
Gimme our toys
I want to play free and easy

I don't want tommorrow
I hate yesterday

Bathe me with the shower
The purest water on earth
Feed me with the fruits
You made specially for me

Let me lie on your lap
Let me forget my sorrows
Let me overcome this loneliness
These burdens of life

Sunday, February 27, 2005


This is not my usual blog i have decided to give a break to desperation coz this desp. is filling my life now....and this loneliness is becoming a part of me now....i am now in bangalore ..i find nothing interesting in life.. i get up in the morning at around 7 -7.30 there is 20min drive to my off so will reach off at around 9 then drive like a slave do whatever they say with absolutely no interest as our office is short of man power stay in off till 9-10.30 come back drink listen to some music these days Bombay Jayasree ,some keerthanams or gazals...again same thing....i find no reason to enjoy life and no reason to be happy

I went home last week the moment i reached my place one tear drop came from my eyes i loved tat security and warmth of my house my favourate plants my doggie my bed....whay am i living like this . Without anything interesting in my life ?

This metro city is suffocating me pseudo all around i know its none of my business but still i don't understand why girls in blore wear sleeve less in this cold climate esp at night and why are they so interested in showing their Underwear outside i have nothing to do with this but still i don't understand . Where are we heading ? relations becoming shorter.... values loosing its meaning....

I don't know why i am living this life i have an option of leaving this job and going home why am i not doing it ..Money this is reality ...we need money...for what ? for making more money ...but what is the use a life so boring and waste....

Wednesday, February 16, 2005

Love Lost forever

It’s really cold and the sun is still sleeping. The windows are closed and he could hear the sound of water dripping from the leaking tap. She is sleeping next to him holding his hands with the innocence of an infant. Some early birds have started chirping. But he was determined to get up. He got up from bed without disturbing her , washed his face wrote a note that he is going for a walk and went out slowly closing the cottage door. First he thought about taking the car then he decided to walk. The watchman greeted him with a pleasant smile, the same old smile

When he was walking towards the lake all the thoughts came to his mind.... his wife.... the way she responded when he decided to go to this place. She said, “Why u wana go to this place! Is this place there in the map? Why should we loose the chance to go to Singapore”

He reached that road with trees on either side and covered with dry leaves. The leaves seem to cry when he stepped on it .it seems they also share his grief. The trees stood still without even moving a single leaf it seems the trees were shocked at this.

He was walking straight with his head down looking at something he have lost there. Suddenly he stopped there staring at one-tree tears rolled down from his eyes. He went near the tree with a low lying branch and touched the branch.

He face came to his mind, blurred and covered in fog. The eyes always afraid …the smile. He could feel her breath in his ears. All the naggings and sweet fights. It was four years back that they came to this place. They were deeply in love, inseparable. They studied in same college they were working in the same company and now she got a transfer. But he had never kissed her before never touched her except for holding her hand.

She was moving to her new office and he just wanted to drop her they just came here took a cottage and it was in the evening that they reached here. They were tired after the long drive and wanted to go to sleep she was sleeping on the bed and he was sleeping on the couch. Morning she woke him up it was really cold she seems to be fresh and the window was open. She asked him for a walk and he said yes he got ready and went out of the cottage. The watchman greeted him with a smile full of respect and affection.

They walked through the road to the lake on the way she spotted the tree with the low lying branch and they went towards it she sat on the branch and the silence was full of fragrance. Now he hissed her on the forehead she closed her eyes there was a bash of rain god had showered his blessing on them She told him” When good things happen it always rains”. He took her hand and walked towards the lake they sat there watching the tree standing alone in the middle of the lake.

They came back from the lake got dressed and dropped her at the bus stand and she said she will call up as soon as she reach the new place he went back home and…she never called up. He tried in her mobile no response then tried the office they said she didn’t join there called her home and got the message that the number Is not in use

He was desperate left alone he never heard a word from her again. Due to the compulsion he had to get married

The tears stopped it rained again he walked back to cottage and she was taking bath and she asked, “ Who is that?” He replied, “ I am back “ She said, “ Are you mad to go out at this time, I still wonder why have we come to this place” He didn’t reply She said “ Do u get coffee here? Please order one for me!, did we forget to bring the camera ?” He replied, “ I think so!”

He heard a beep from her mobile he took it .it was an SMS “ Dear I’m missing you so badly how are you when will you come back if possible call back” the number was familiar There was no change of expression on his face, plain, clear left alone. He said “ You have an SMS “ she said “ok leave it”

She came out from bathroom and saw the sms when he was sitting there and smoking he asked how is this place, his eyes were wet. She came near him held his hands and said it’s nice. …But we’ll go to Singapore next time….

Tuesday, February 15, 2005

Love Frozen

Its cold but not for him...
They are crying but he can't hear

Perfumes fill the air -
He can't smell it
Flowers surround him-
he can't see it

MOsquitos don't want him
Flies like him more

Its chill inside the glass house
He is well dressed and beautiful
I tried to talk to him
But he can't hear it

People are cryin...Fools
They don't know he is happy....
Happir than ever....
Leberated ...

Monday, February 14, 2005

Unconditional Affection

This is Mysore I feel so emotionaly attached to this place . For the first time i am getting a good impression about this place . This place has the glowry of the Royal rule and the blends of Muslim Empire and british empire is still visible there It seems british have not tried to loot this place coz the palace seems to be really pampered by them and moulded to suit their lifestyle more than british style the more visile is the mughal ones Wide roads beutifully carved Buildings. Mysore has not lost its culture it seems and this place is not as pseudo as Bangalore i didn't see any pubs or papparzees in the first sight.

I went to mysore for an officical purporse The most interesting thing was after i visited Mysore diary . After my visit to diary i wanted to stay back for one more day so i wanted to go my friends place which is in a place called VIjayanagara and the time was around 7.30 and it was already very dark so i asked the official over there where is this place and how to reach there. When he was telling me the way one old man interupted my talks and told the officer that he is also going to the same place and he can help me out if i want .So officer told me that will be better coz it was already late and its hard to find the place alone. I started walking with him towards the Bus stop suddenly i got the feel of knowing him for years. I was sure i knew him for years.We got into the bus it was crowded but we reached the bus stand in some 20 min and there we were waiting for the next bus and every now and then i was askin him when will the bus come...or i will take an auto the same way i used to pester my mom ,he said its not a good idea as its not safe .

Then we boarded the second bus and on the way he was explainging the whole area to me like a guide and what i still wonder is how did i understand the whole thing coz i didn't know kannada and he was speakin to me in kannada and at times in bits and pieces of Hindi. But by the time he got down i asked his name and he told me exactly where to get down then i travelled for some more time and i was not concentrating on the road and the landmarks he had told me . Suddenly the conductor told me tat it was the stop and i asked him what ? He told me tat don't worry "YOUR GRANDPA TOLD ME TO DROP YOU HERE" i really got the feel of my grandpa , his white beard stinking on my face the same feel i used to get 19Yrs back...and lost... lost for ever...


There she is ... on the corner..
There is darkness
All around in this room
The candle has melt..
The rain has stopped

There is sun...
Preparing to wake up....
Her dress is torn
There is blood on her face
Tears in her eyes
She is awake
She is alive...

Is this fate ...
Wher is god ?
Is he asleep
Or has he left hope in her ?

She can't cry...
But there is pain..
She can't stand...
There is pain..

Her eyes are red..
Dress torn...
Blood on her lips..
But a tint of joy...

Is this a curse
Or a bliss

She stood up...
Took her dress..
She was searching...
for it everywhere..
she was afraid ...
whether they betrayed her..
But she found it..
Kept under the pillow..
some dirty notes...
stinking like hell....

The woman in her is crying with pain
The devil in us is smiling at the money
There she walks
with the money she earned
Never thinking she earned
always remembring...

Saturday, February 12, 2005


This is my first blog......... i am not so good in writing so i will better startof with somethin else

This loneliness is killing me .....
It ruins my heart......
It shatters my soul.....
I want to cry..i want to scream....

Let this tears of mine wash away my sins....
Let this love of yours....
Purify my soul...

Lonely is this sun ....
Lonely am i
Lonely is the moon....
But not the stars......

Lonely is this sparrow....
Who lost its mate....
Lonely is this tree in the midst of this lake....
Lonely am i ...
Alone am i in this world...
Sooooo Crowded.....