Friday, October 05, 2007

EGO

Ego is the main reason for all ma worries and loneliness. it generates an incapability in me which restricts me from being happy and active. i tend to take simple things very seriously and tats the root cause of all the problems.
i guess its hard time i realize that life is not winning or stayin on the top always its enjoying the things u do and taking it sporty.

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

Devilish Red

Red....i used to love you...
Red you used to smoothen my eyes
You used to bring me hope
You brought joy....

Red i am afraid...
Afraid of you...
I see you as blood..
Blood from my bleeding soul...

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

Purity of Love

This is a debateable topic still i have all the rights to express my views on it.....
In a standard framework it is generally considered that a gal is supposed to remain loyal to her boy friend and vice versa. But my experiences tell me that this may not be true in many of the cases.

There are instances when we can see that a girl takes a share of the Hard Earned money of her boyfriend who is swetting abroad and spends it for her lover.

Again a girls speaks all sweet to her bf when she is hugging her lover

Can any one tell me where is PURITY in this

The same gal covers up everything and sets all ready "Clean" when her boy friend is in town for vaccation

WHERE IS PURITY IN THIS
or
HAVE SOMEONE REDEFINED PURITY ?????

Devil Dance

She is beautiful
Her eyes full of love
Her words had magic
Thatv took me for a ride

She showed me dreams
She gave me hopes
She showed me new meanings
To my life i used to hate

She blindfolded me in love
I drowned in her love
She kissed me
She hugged me

Now when i wake up from the dream
Breaking her spells
I see the devil in her
Laughing at me...

She killed my soul
She oozed my love
She is happy
When she saw me dying

I cried for my life
She acted deaf
I ran for my life
She pulled me back

Now she is dancing
Dancing on my grave
Its her wedding dance
Right above my grave

My soul weeps
Weeps in hurt
Weeps in insult
Laughing at me....

Sunday, January 07, 2007

Coming Back To Life

I'm on blog after a long time....the break was a rather conscious one which was basically intended to keep me in the search of my most stable state...even though not much enjoyed throughout love can be called one of my stable states but the state is an extremely short lived
This Vacation was highly interesting and gave me lot of insights into the usual topic "Love" i realized a lot of things.

  1. The first of all will be that Love binds hearts and is Devinne (Maybe) but the strong hold on any relation is social taboos and cultural bindings. Caste creed and all sort of bullshit still play an active role in love.
  2. Loneliness can sprout love between two individuals (Provided they are in a similar state of mind) But the most important factor for this love to sustain is not love it is the external factors.
  3. There can be an ideal person in love but this is a near approximation there is never a perfect match and also in terming an individual as Perfect or Ideal Match you should also take into consideration the social and economic situation you and the person are currently in
  4. Love Comes like a breeze and smoothness your life and leaves like a hurricane...
  5. Never ever lose yourself in love tat it uproots you and throws you into nowhere

Platonic Love

Platonic love in its modern popular sense is an affectionate relationship into which the sexual element does not enter, especially in cases where one might easily assume otherwise. A simple example of platonic relationships is a deep, non-sexual friendship between two heterosexual people of the opposite sexes
At the same time, this interpretation is a misunderstanding of the nature of the Platonic ideal of love, which from its origin was that of a chaste but passionate love, based not on uninterest but virtuous restraint of sexual desire. In its original Platonic form, this love was meant to bring the lovers closer to wisdom and the Platonic Form of Beauty. It is described in depth in Plato's Phaedrus and Symposium. In the Phaedrus, it is said to be a form of divine madness that is a gift from the gods, and that its proper expression is rewarded by the gods in the afterlife; in the Symposium, the method by which love takes one to the form of beauty and wisdom is detailed.

Saturday, August 19, 2006

Boredom- Clinical


Boredom is an unpleasant state of mind in which one interprets one's environment as dull, tedious, and lacking stimuli. There is an inherent hopelessness in boredom; people will expend considerable effort to prevent or remedy it, yet in many circumstances it is accepted as an inevitable suffering to be endured. A common way to escape boredom is through creative thoughts or daydreaming.

Time often seems to move more slowly to someone who experiences boredom; this results from the way in which the human mind measures the passage of time, combined with the infrequency of events perceived as notable.

A typical teenager's complaint is that there is 'nothing to do'; this statement can have a number of economic and social causes. Younger teens cannot drive, but in many communities are unable to get anywhere without a car possibly due to lack of public transportation. It may also mean that their desired sources of entertainment are too expensive. It could also be a symptom of learned helplessness, possibly related to boredom experienced at school.

Far from being a minor annoyance, boredom can have major negative impacts on people. Perhaps more importantly, boredom is often a symptom of deeper problems, such as depression, ineffective teaching, or ineffective management in a workplace

Saturday, July 29, 2006

Absurd is not enough to define this....




This absurd scene of a Coca Cola bottel chiller is from (inside) an educational institution which is just 3 hrs away from Palakkad....

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Some Grave Mistakes Committed by me

Joined Engineering in spite of my liking for Life Sciences, in pursuit of a lucrative career.
Wasted my life in the engineering college doing nothing worthwhile
My desire to grow, without knowing where to
Lack of focus on the kind of job that will fit me or satisfy me
Joined MBA, without knowing what it is and what I want out of it
Even here not being able to choose a career path I chose the one which is most money-spinning, without even knowing whether I will survive there or not.

The list is end less and I can’t see any way out….

Job Satisfaction ?

To be able to sleep peacefully after coming from office

How do I enjoy ?

Most difficult question to answer coz I couldn’t figure that out till date

PS: I do not expect comments like " It will be allright " this is a very much objective post and this is not to drive any sentiments to me......



Can someone tell me where I will fit in ? What kinda job should I take ?

Monday, June 05, 2006

SOLITUDE

This solitude is creeping inside my soul. This loneliness of a sailor in his fleet going nowhere is inexplicable. These few days of loneliness has forced me to think about myself. Loneliness is not alien to me neither was it hostile but I have lost the capability of taming that beast. She was my most trusted companion but the rather busy life has taken away the skill and replaced it with dependency. I had only few friends and I was happy with that because of the depths of these friendships, but to be faithful I always had a leniency towards the opposite sex. This predilection for the opp sex was not predominant during the Pre-degree day’s coz I was happy with the kind of friends I had and I had kept myself busy with preparation for Entrance test.

This fondness has contributed a lot to my life both as boon and bane. Some of my best friends were from the other side and lot of femme fatale has put me in trouble. But I forgot to add friends to the roll coz I couldn’t get people of my wavelength and I never bothered to change mine or accommodate slight variations. This attitude of mine left me with just a hand full of friends. Life moves really fast and they also had to move, girls got married! Guys left town! I do not regret this restriction on entry but I feel it was not adequate.

Other companions were tobacco and alcohol but as the medical test proves me unfit to keep the companionship alive I had to ditch them, they never complained and were always at my beck and call. The lonely days in the busy life of Bangalore were enriched by the smoke filled pubs and bars which kept me engaged. Now even they are not there in my life…..

This Loneliness is embracing me…..
She is fleeting through my nerves….

Sunday, June 04, 2006

The Most Outspoken Enlightened Man of the centuary

Constrained Optimisation



Every individual prefers to live a happy and peaceful life. We expect our days to be bright ! Does this happen often ? Any way for me i do not think so. Human beings can never maximise happiness, human life is completely constrained. Man is born in chains and will die in chains ! The process of human life is just a change in chains, addition or deletion of the same.
Any activity a person intending to do will go through a lot of screening process within his mind and the predominent factor affecting the above is the openion of others ! So how much weightage is given for these ? Like wise millions of constraints

Is Love a constraint ???? Just this quiestion would have attracted lot of frowns i am aware of that. But i feel this way.Love is a constraint....and it continues to be one throughout his life. This chain is so strong that its number increases with age of the individual. This is the same constraint which prevents or inhibits the thoughts of a person's pursuit for eternal freedome. So isn't love a constraint ??

Love comes as Parents, Sibblings, Girl/Boy friends, Wife/Husband, Children, Grandchildren...

when is man free ?? when does he do things of his own wish ?? Being the most evolved species is he ever free to do things he wish ? Is maximisation of happiness possible ? No its optimisation , Constrained Optimisation

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Tips to Screw Your Life....

1. Fight for the Supressed society (Where the supressed will back stab you)
2. Trying to understand and help the HELPLESS (Where the helpless will gain things being in the shaddow and u get screwed)
3. Try to point out the mistakes of the system
4. Pair up with wrong ppl (who will dich u later)
5. Try to correct the director of a self financing college
6.Try to make things better when u r not asked to do so
7. Fight against unfair treatment in a self financing college
8. Be with a person who is least understanding and sensible
9. Over estimate yourself
10. Expect selfless help from your friends

Monday, May 08, 2006

Chains



MAN Born in chains

Will Live in Chains

Will Die in chains

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

The Marriage

Normally i talk about my experience or the outbreaks of my little heart . This time i am getting into an area where i have no practical experience This is an anticipatory bail for those who will ask me how can u say these how du u know?

I have no empirical evidence to this post but this is conclusions of my observations and third party experiences.

Marriage is an institutional arrangement of this society. The basic insticts of human beings were made to focus on one individual and then the individual was forced to confine himself to that focused object and this setup was termed Family. This family is responsible for everything human beings do and the way he behave.

Individuals will have personal goals and aspired achievements which is supposed to have a synergic confluence with the partner's after marriage. Does this happen in real life ? We humans have brain and memmory which forces us to recall think and compare . Those aspects of life which was better before marriage will be compared to those after marriage and individual starts rating the partner based on these. The system of family will sustain only in the ancient environment where the girl doesn't have any dreams or any known standards to compare. The human race has advanced like mad did this family set up change ? Did it get updated ? No so this system is handicaped when it comes to handling the fast and furious lifestyle of the 21st centuary.

Still present day girls falls into the sytem forgoe their dreams and burries their memories and succeeds in living as the OBEDIENT AND FAITHFUL WIVES. who are pure in the body and dream about the next life where she get to live the life she dreamed of.

The Guys part will follow in my next posting...

Saturday, April 08, 2006

Heights of Customer Service

For the first time in my life i visited a treassuary yesterday and i saw the heights of customer service. If the full form of PSC is Public Service Commission and if thats how ppl get into this office the name should be changed to Public Screwing Commission coz.

The systems there are obsolete. The Cash reciept was on one corner and then from there the challan was taken to other corner of the office which took 5 min for the peon to carry. I was instructed to wait for the callan counter foil to come. I waited for 53 mins and after utter frustration i approached the peon and he said the challan has not reached this section. I informed him tat the person who was standing behind me in the queue left 45 mins back. He went and checked again ( Another 10 mis) he came back and replied the challan was not there. Then i went back to the cash counter and he checked the floor "my challan for 75,000 Rs was lying on the floor" the peon was happy to see that it was not his mistake and he gave me the counter foil after 5 mins.

World Class service at your FOOT STEPS !!!!!

India SHINE !!! and this kerala is again set for an ellection !!!!

Friday, March 24, 2006

Things which i could never do to be happy

1) Endeavor to change the way you look at things. Always look at the bright side. The mind may drag you to think about negativity and difficulties. Don't let it. Look at the good and positive side of every situation.

2) Think of solutions, not problems.

3) Listen to relaxing, uplifting music.

4) Watch funny comedies that make you laugh.

5) Each day, devote some time to reading a few pages of an inspiring book or article.

6) Watch your thoughts. Whenever you catch yourself thinking negative thoughts, start thinking of pleasant things.

7) Always look at what you have done and not at what you haven't.
Sometimes you may begin the day with the desire to accomplish several objectives. At the end of the day you might feel frustrated and unhappy, because you haven't been able to do all of those things.

Look at what you have done, not at what you have not been able to do. You may have accomplished a lot during the day, and yet you let yourself become frustrated, because of some small things that you did not accomplish. You have spent all day successfully carrying out many plans, and instead of feeling happy and satisfied, you look at what was not accomplished and feel unhappy. It is unfair toward yourself.

8) Each day do something good for yourself. It can be something small, such buying a book, eating something you love, watching you favorite program on TV, going to a movie, or just having a stroll on the beach.

9) Each day do at least one act to make others happy. This can be a kind word, helping your colleagues, stopping your car at the crossroad to let people cross, giving your seat in a bus to someone else, or giving a small present to someone you love. The possibilities are infinite. When you make someone happy, you become happy, and then people try to make you happy.

10) Always expect happiness.

11) Do not envy people who are happy. On the contrary, be happy for their happiness.

12) Associate with happy people, and try to learn from them to be happy. Remember, happiness is contagious.

13) Do your best to stay detached, when things do not proceed as intended and desired. Detachment will help you stay calm and control your moods and reactions. Detachment is not indifference. It is the acceptance of the good and the bad and staying balanced. Detachment has much to do with inner peace, and inner peace is conductive to happiness.

14) Smile more often.

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

The Health Concern

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Casabianca

The boy stood on the burning deck
Whence all but he had fled;
The flame that lit the battle's wreck
Shone round him o'er the dead.

Yet beautiful and bright he stood,
As born to rule the storm;
A creature of heroic blood,
A proud, though child-like form.

The flames rolled on–he would not go
Without his Father's word;
That father, faint in death below,
His voice no longer heard.

He called aloud–'say, Father, say
If yet my task is done?
'He knew not that the chieftain lay
Unconscious of his son.

'Speak, father!' once again he cried,
'If I may yet be gone!
'And but the booming shots replied,
And fast the flames rolled on.

Upon his brow he felt their breath,
And in his waving hair,
And looked from that lone post of death
In still yet brave despair.

And shouted but once more aloud,
'My father! must I stay?
'While o'er him fast, through sail and shroud,
The wreathing fires made way.

They wrapt the ship in splendour wild,
They caught the flag on high,
And streamed above the gallant child,
Like banners in the sky.

There came a burst of thunder sound–
The boy–oh! where was he?
Ask of the winds that far around
With fragments strewed the sea!–

With mast, and helm, and pennon fair,
That well had borne their part–
But the noblest thing which perished there
Was that young faithful heart.

Felicia Hemans (1793 - 1835)

Road Not Taken

I kinda love this poem

The Road LOST


The Choices hard to make......
The mistakes never will forget....

The road splitted.....
I took the wrong one.....

Oh mylord....gimme a chance....
Gimme a chance to take the other one....

I'm not greedy...
I just realised how stupid i was....
To have taken this road....

It was dark
It was forest
Forest so deep
That light was scarce

I had to make the choice
I had to make it in dark

I made a mistake !!!
I regret makin it !!!

Che


The revolution is not an apple that falls when it is ripe. You have to make it fall.

Che Guevara

Frustration


Boredome of life and the confusions of making choices are frustrating my soul to the core. The educational system kills creativity and promotes slavery. From kindergarten the child is taught how to be a slave but earlier the Post Graduate Courses were an excemption but with the introduction of the so called B-Schools in Kerala this is also now teaching slavery.

Freedome is just like moon now, u know its there and u feel like having it but u will never get it. The system supports only those who are ready to lick the" SO CALLED PROFESSOR'S ASS" but the dignity and self respect is not letting me do that. Bad virtues in this centuary. You revolt u die. The cost of the system is so high (In Lakhs) that u can not dump the system any time u want even if u see Cocroach in the Canteen food, or u get food poisoning 2 times in a week system demands Discipline. And discipline means "SILENCE"

My dear movie makers this INDIA is never gona make it . U make inspiring movies like rang de basanthi and make money , ppl will watch it and say kewl man we need to react thats all no body will react. Even if u react u will be the only person to do so. Coz u r not taught to react thee educational sytem taught u to be Disciplined.

Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Life ?????

1. Define Life ?
A) Life is a big piece of BULL SHIT the more u take it seriously and put ur soul into it the more it will stink

2. Define Love ?
A) The process invented by god to keep guys under control. very little of it means u will crave for more too much of it means u get bugged but it never comes in the perfect mix. so the defenition can be Love is that which comes to your life like a breeze of drizzle and leave ur life like a cyclone or thunderstorm destroying your whole life

3) Define Happiness ?
A) A state of mind u can acheve only when u break all the bonds attached to u

Friday, February 24, 2006

Internal Marks the Curse

From a student’s point of view internal marks are a curse, a tool used by the professors to gain control and put undue influence on students. This may be a good concept but many a times this concept is misused.

For this we have the typical Cochin University example. But the story doesn’t end there this is just a tip of the iceberg. I can tell you a couple of incidents which I personally know.

The CUSAT incident came into light and it became an issue only because there was a political union to support the students there is a sense of unity. But what is the case of other hundreds of institutions where there is no union? Where there is not even a PTA? yes, I am talking about Kerala the GOD’S OWN COUNTRY. This issue is most prominent in Management institutes or the so called B-schools.

I will share some truth about a B-School in Malabar, here the educational system is still under experimentation. This was started last year by a group of busy people. This essentially makes the Director the supreme authority. The internal marks are awarded based on “presentation skills” which means it is a subjective evaluation, with absolutely zero transparency. But the worst part is that the selection for presentation is only by picking of lots if u r a bit unlucky u will end up with just one presentation and others with 3 or 4 and good grades. This was pointed out to the director and the reply meant "BOSS IS ALWAYS RIGHT". Another incident is that there was a trip organized this was a big drama done just to take few snaps of the so called trip to be published in the add to canvas students here also participation was not voluntary it was forced upon students by threats of internal marks story is not over but I have to save myself.

But no student will raise his hand no student will complain because there is no unity. There is no student body to support the students. There is terror! They will suffer but they will never complain even when the facilities promised by taking more than 2.5 Lakhs are not given, because they need internal marks. Students are stressed to the core, one test one interview two assignments and one presentation in one day. This whole system will create only mentally handicapped new generation. But still nobody will protest

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

My sweet water....

Water so pure...
Her giggles..the songs of nature...
Water so cold..
Water my soul...

There came the giant
The devil.. the cola
He married her...
He kept her in chains

He killed her parents
He locked her beloveds
Devil he is
He married my water

Devil he is
He raped her
He exploited her
She ...poor ...exhausted

Devil he is
He is selling her
He made her a prostitiute
He is selling her to her beloveds
And making them take her...

Rise and revolt
Before he kills her
Before he moves from here
In search of his next prey

Coke..the masters of business

When the students in USA revolt against the brutal acts of coke in India and Columbia ...the students of a management institute in Kerala which is just 3 hrs away from plachimada and whose student comunity has a majority of people from the district of palaghat ...is selling COCA COLA inside the campus

This is a location where students of the neighbouring college , as a protest against coke have imposed a ban on selling coke outside the campus . So what message does this convey " U wana live , u wana get a good job sell ur mom to the MD or ur wife to the MD and PLEASE him " is this a kinda life worth living.....

Its hard time we think before the devil engulfs the Homo sapiens with thnking capacity ...to death...

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

Petrol Pump Strike

Today The comparitively peaceful city of Calicut witnessed an brutal assault and murded out of revenge of a petrol pump employee

But what i want to point out is not that issue which will for sure will come in the news papers . Being vaccation me and my friend set out in my bike for a trip and i happened to go to a petrol pump to fill the relatively empty tank and i was startled by the reply of petrol pump strike as had already coverd half way and i was expecting an empty takn any moment . byt considering the emosions of the workers i decided to take a risk rather than beging ,but the fear of walking in the hot sun really made me ask the lady in the pump for atlest a half litre . But a NO really made me understand their UNITY .

The best part of the story is that when i was about to leave i saw the same lady giving petrol to not one but TWO auto rickshaws which tempted me to ask once more for petrol and even this time reply was same so i walked in their office and a much more insulting NO was the answer form the Lady sitting there

What i couldn't understand was the policy of treating customers in two different was and troubling customers who has nothing to do with the strike

This nation need to change.....

Monday, July 25, 2005

The Drizzle...


Its raining...
Its time for a change..
A journey to the unknown...
Known is Beautiful...So Let Unknown be the Most Beautiful....
There is fragrance of a red rose...All over again...
The Scent reminds the whisper , the giggles...
The Thorns...
The Hopes...The greenery...
Love is in the air...
Like a Rose bud...
Awaiting its turn..

Friday, July 01, 2005

The Rain

It is freezing and time to wake up there is hangover still in his eyes but choices are scarce and routines are set. Dressing was robotic…He walked up to the deck there is respect all around! Fools! He always wondered what is there is him to be respected except the metallic signboards showing the rank? It has been seven months till he last felt the touch of land the same faces all around..

The calendar is reminding him of what he is trying to forget 25th December the worst day and the good day savior came and she left…the cigar kissed him and is ready for the sacrifice

The greenery is a lost memory, the small house, the parrot everything is lost and he is helpless money was scarce but there was happiness all around. Memories of dad is full of Charminar cigarette smoke and stinking smell of rum and he always wondered whether god made his mom to test all the illness in this world but he never let anything go worse and she is still alive . The taste of food . But he can always cope aloneness coz tats what he is born with except for her there was no one in his life as friend she was the girl next door .


Her house had the smell of Yardley Red Roses till it was taken over by the agarbathi lit near he dad’s body when she was 2 yrs old .She was 4 yrs younger than him and he had to play the role of a teacher at a very early stage because of her but he enjoyed her nagging and sweet smiles.

He came home with his Graduation results and was greeted by the news of her NRI alliance brought by her uncle; they had even started the arrangements. He was waken up by a knock in the door.. she came in with a smile a made up smile a mask that never suit her , he couldn’t stop him from asking “ What happened ?” answer was ready in her eyes ready to fall down . “Are you not happy with this marriage?” Answer came rolling down her eyes. He tapped her shoulders and asked “what happened?”, “I can’t leave you.” answer came in a feeble voice, “Oh tats it! Come on you are not leaving us! It’s your marriage.” “I love you” this time reply was even feebler but the message was clear as her eyes were looking down. He could only say “Come on now you better leave I think I heard your mom calling you, we will talk later.”

Rain showered with no reason her face was seen clearly in the rain on the walls sleep seems to have left him and it was a feeling like never before the pain incomparable realization happened fast and followed by decisions there was no turning back including the job but till last December. Had a halt in Dubai and Christmas a accidental glimpse of her a coffee with the couple a tap on her baby’s cheeks but the tears still in her eyes fresh as ever but afraid to fall down or forbidden of rolling down

Alcohol can no longer make him unconscious its like a bed of thorns and the ocean is so tempting for a dive to the depths a journey never to return….....

Thursday, June 30, 2005

Judiciary the “HERO”

Kerala is the sickest place to live now its better to be in some colonial rule. Here judiciary can be seen as the new version of East India Company and a spine less goat as the chief minister, and the drama of politics where one grandpa tries to take over and his brainless culture less son being the hero! And a few business men in politics trying to sell Kerala as whole.

I am an Engineer and now doing MBA I went to SBI for an educational loan and the treatment from there was Insulting and I was really hurt that fucker asked me “This education loan is a big nuisance now why don’t u ppl have money to study? Can’t u enquire in any other banks? are we here for any free service ?” I was told NO even before explaining the things by HDFC bank they said sorry no Education loans and I told them my mom’s account is wit them and they said ok u can withdraw if u want… finally Canara bank gave me a loan….i whole heartedly thank them and their service was wonderful.

So in this scenario the Students associations protest against the fees structure for Engineering and medical education is very relevant and should be appreciated even after finishing engineering it is not easy to get a job if the college is not up to the mark. I did from a Self Financing college none of the students got campus placement in my trade and I started off my career with 1000 Rs salary how will you repay the loan? Here without a second thought this barbarian judiciary is screwing them! The same thing which happened in plachimada issue. But students in USA were finally supported even by a university in USA for their protest against the Coca Cola Company’s brutal acts in India

Sunday, June 26, 2005

This is kool...

I got this format from Poornima’s blog

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
My height (Good things come in small packets) Rest yet to figure out

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU DON'T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
Yet to figureout

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
Cockroach
Spider
Bat

THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
I’m not wearing three things !

FIVE BOOKS THAT MEAN SOMETHING TO YOU:
Peruvazhiyambalam
Nashtapetta Neelambari
Mein Kamph
Poems by Keats
Nanditayute Kavithakal


WHAT I AM READING RIGHT NOW:
Khalil Jibran

FIVE MOVIES THAT MEAN SOMETHING TO YOU:
The Sound of music
Message in a bottle
Namukku parkan munthiri thoppukal
Thovana thumbikal
City of angels

THE FIRST FICTIONAL CHARACTER YOU FELL IN LOVE WITH:
Sherlock holmes

THE LAST BOOK YOU BOUGHT:
Khalil Jibran

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
Smoke one Cigar
Drink one peg on the rocks
Sleep

THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO:
Deep Forest
Bekal Fort
Thar Desert

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
Air
Water
Tobacco

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX THAT APPEAL TO YOU:
Long nails, short hair, thick eyebrows

THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP:

Patience
Respect for the other
Readiness to say on the face if things are not goin the right way


TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE (in no particular order):
- I’m a sadist
- I’m a communist
- I have very few friends

Thursday, June 23, 2005

Students In USA against Coke

Students Organisation For Labour and Economic Equality has organised protests against the unlawful and brutal acts ok Coca Cola Company in India and Columbia and as a result of that Mishigan university in USA has informed Coco Cola company to start an enquiry on the matter before 25th September and submit a report failing which they will bring a ban in the university on coke products and they will lose the business

This was a result of the complaint given to the university by the association one year back and the protests staged by them . In USA several universities have banned coca cola products one year back and company has a business deal of 13 Lakhs dollars with the university.

This is what a university in USA did to Coca Cola for their deeds in India ! what did our Judiciary and government do ? Isn't it worth thinking...

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

USA Rejected Coke Exported from India

USFDA Rejected fanta exported by COKE INDIA to US because it was found harmful and not sutable for consumption . The consignement no: 29 B C T 99 sent in May was the one that was rejected and the reports have been published in official website of FDA .

Eventhough Centre for science and environment has found out traces of pesticide in Coke products we they are still selling it and people are still using it . That is the impact that these jiants have on our people society and culture.

Realise and react....before its too late

Monday, June 20, 2005

COKE SUCKING OUR BLOOD

We have to open our eyes and realise what is happening in plachimada this is the time to realise and react the reaction need not be against america or Globalisation but it should atleast beagainst the factor that is hindering the normal life of people in plachimada where there is nothing to support the people . Not even the judiciary ..! where do we seek protection ?

Don't turn the page when u see plachimada , coz there is water still in your well or coz there is more interseting advertisement of aiswarya sippin coke in next page . This is not against ppl in plachimada this is against Humanity..

Don't have to revolt but at least understand and wake up from the sweet dream world where u feel no one will hamper your peace, where no one will drain out water from ur well and sell it to you ,where u think there is a judiciary to protect you and there is military to guard you....wake up and realise that "U" are the endangered ....

Love your fellow beings ... you don't have to sacrifice but at least show a helping hand ...

“At the risk of seeming ridiculous, let me say that the true revolutionary is guided by a great feeling of love.”
—Che Guevara

Sunday, June 05, 2005

The Drama Of Life

This is just a thought that is troubling me for past few days this is eating my brain and ruining my thoughts . What is love is this a big mandatory drama to be played by all in adoloscence....guess so...what is real love ? what are people gainig by this why is this love drama being done ? this is something one for the society as society insists on one perticular way of loving...either we will follow it or we will try to oppose it but still society is the ruling factor... once ppl fall in love they start understanding the weekness of each other either u impose ur self on the other or let the other impose it on u either way its imposing....and the war for domination ....and dominaton can be either by force or by pseudo love ...by pretenting that u r the one made for the other... he or she will be left wit no other choice.....


Pls commend...

Tuesday, March 08, 2005

LOVE-RAN AWAY...

He woke up in the morning and looked at the clock it was 10.45. He got out of bed and washed his face, switched on music which had become an integral part of him ..yeaterdays hangover was still there...the bottles were still lying on the table. And ashtray was full . He walked towards the main door and opened it took the News paper and milk packet it was sunday.

Reading the news paper he walked to the Kitchen, kept milk for boiling and water for Tea. He took two glases poured Milk in one and tea in other. He lit the cigarette and took a sip of tea. He started thinking about her....It all started when they were Studying in first year of Engineering he was in Mech and she was in Comp sci. They were in love for 5 years and ignoring all oppositions from their paernts they got married. The main obstrucle was their religion . After college He got a job in Blore and she got an offer from Chennai. They decided to get married and she rejected that offer he felt so bad about that and told this to her She kissed his hand and said " You are my life , i have nothing more important than you in my life "

There was happiness all around and it seems even god envied that ! Within 3 months he also got a job in Blore and by this time the resistance from her parent's side was leasening . This was a big releaf for them. Her parents started calling them frequently eventhough the topic of conversion was comming up frequntly they enjoyed it.

Finally the day came for which the were waiting for he was waiting outside the labour room and her mom was calling up very frequently from UAE. Nurse came out and Showed that angel he wanted to touch her but tears rolled down his eyes she was beautiful and innocent their Ammu .....he felt so proud.

Her parents droped in within 3 days and they had plans to be with them for 3 weeks they felt really relaxed and they had the feeling that there is some one to care for them. But things started changing when her parents started insisting on Baptising Ammu . He was really shocked when she asked him " What is wrong in that ? only they were there when we had trouble, can't we do this small favour to them" Some how it was settled and they left.
One day suddenly She resigned the job saying that she want to spend full time with ammu he agreed to that coz he always gave value to her decissions.

One day when he returened from office the front door was locked but that was usual as he was the one doing shopping he opened it with his key and went inside he went to the Kitchen and took a bottle of water from the fridge, he went inside the room and he couldn't belive that she went out leaving Ammu alone in the house. He rang up her mob and it was kept on the table and below that there was a letter

" Please don't search for me . I am leaving its not bcoz i don't love you but its coz i love him more it was something like a love we had to abandon due to constrains we tried to forget but now when we met accidently we realised how deeply attached we were..... I know u will take care of ammu better than me...."

Suddenly he felt something on his leg..it was ammu standing on his leg tightly holding his leg it was a habit for her even now she is now in 4rd standard.... Ammu said " Pappa this milk is cold...u always do this...ammu came after brushning...good girl no ?" He said yea my love you are very good, I will get you hot milk" She said " its ok pappa i was just joking...come come please switch on the TV" He gave a kiss on her forehead and tears were rolling down his eyes " Ammu asked " Pappa u r thinkin abt Mom " He said " No da never...."

Friday, March 04, 2005

Love Nature

Call me oh my mother
To lie on your lap
Sing me those lullabies
with the spoftest of your leaves

Show me my brothers
I am tired of being lonely
Gimme our toys
I want to play free and easy

I don't want tommorrow
I hate yesterday

Bathe me with the shower
The purest water on earth
Feed me with the fruits
You made specially for me

Let me lie on your lap
Let me forget my sorrows
Let me overcome this loneliness
These burdens of life

Sunday, February 27, 2005

Confussion

This is not my usual blog i have decided to give a break to desperation coz this desp. is filling my life now....and this loneliness is becoming a part of me now....i am now in bangalore ..i find nothing interesting in life.. i get up in the morning at around 7 -7.30 there is 20min drive to my off so will reach off at around 9 then drive like a slave do whatever they say with absolutely no interest as our office is short of man power stay in off till 9-10.30 come back drink listen to some music these days Bombay Jayasree ,some keerthanams or gazals...again same thing....i find no reason to enjoy life and no reason to be happy

I went home last week the moment i reached my place one tear drop came from my eyes i loved tat security and warmth of my house my favourate plants my doggie my bed....whay am i living like this . Without anything interesting in my life ?

This metro city is suffocating me pseudo all around i know its none of my business but still i don't understand why girls in blore wear sleeve less in this cold climate esp at night and why are they so interested in showing their Underwear outside i have nothing to do with this but still i don't understand . Where are we heading ? relations becoming shorter.... values diminishing....love loosing its meaning....

I don't know why i am living this life i have an option of leaving this job and going home why am i not doing it ..Money this is reality ...we need money...for what ? for making more money ...but what is the use a life so boring and waste....

Tuesday, February 22, 2005

Pseudo Love

I always used to wonder why dad used to carry mom by holding hands after all the dinners, why can’t she walk by her own. Esp. when mom used to drink that ‘special soft drink for the grown ups’ every one seem to enjoy these parties But i always felt uncomfortable standing in the middle of the crowd especially when I was made to recite the nursery rimes a thousand times for people who never used to care how I sing but in the end will never forget to give the kiss and say too good darling “Who taught you this Dad or mom!” something i never understood was tat why people are so interested in knowing this.

All the Saturdays i found the same people same story alone….lonely…in the crowd. And in the most uncomfortable dress. I used to wonder why mom takes me out in this short dress and the same mom used to scold me for coming out in front of the watchman in the petty coat. But still the magical soft drink was always a mystery till 8th standard even though the name and use was known taste was unknown.

It was ramesh uncle’s wedding and every body was so busy with making the arrangements for the wedding which is gona happen the next day. For the first time I think I got a company in a family function it was Anil, shiny aunt’s son he was studying in 12th standard and was good-looking. They were settled in Dubai and he was studying there we had met before ,when he came for a vacation I was in 4th that time I don’t remember him clearly but I think he didn’t even talk to me that time.

The party had begun and we were talking from the terrace he sees a lot of movies I think and he asked me do watch I told him yes , he asked me how do I feel when I see people kiss in English movies I told him I feel they are shame less. He asked me am I interested in drinking, I told him I never drank he said he will get the drink he made me wait there for some time and he returned with two coke bottles I told him I know what Coke is and he told me tat its not just coke I agreed to drink I still don’t know why I did that but I think it was out of curiosity but my mind was full of thoughts as I had heard from ammama tat its not nice to drink like tat and when I asked then why amma is drinking she said its coz amma has devil inside. Still I drank when I think now I think it was something like revenge. I didn’t like the taste but still I drank and I was feeling dizzy...i remember walking near dad’s safari.

When I woke up Anil was sleeping next to me and I was naked there was pain but I was dumb I was sweating in that heat inside the car and I was suffocating the whole air had the smell of sweat. I got dressed up he was still sleeping but I could hear sounds from party so I was sure they have not started searching for me I know they will never do that when there is a party, I looked at him I was a lil bit scared but I donno why but I started loving him.

When I was about to get up I found something near my slippers it was a Pack of condom in a single second I started hating him……cheat…..

Thursday, February 17, 2005

Philosophy Scrapped

As my friends told me tat i am tooo much of philosohy i am givin it a break. This blog is dedicated to a very good and special friend of mine who i feel will now be tired of reading my desp stories......but i am afraid this will also turn into somethin similar to the rest....

Its said and proved that Homosapiens are the most evolved species in this world but i really doubt this . Why i am saying this is coz i feel every human being unlike animals are born in chains. The very moment a child is born he or she gets the first chain chain of relegion. I still can't understand what is the use of religion especially in this contempory world.The concept of god is good coz its the easiest way of getting hope and this is not going to affect others its more personal, but whenever the term Religion comes the whole story changes.

I feel other animals are much better than Humans coz they are more free they have less number of walls and chains except those put by man they have not restricted themself. A bird can travel to any part of this world without a passport. A bird can live with any mate and no religion cast will stop it .

Here there is no inter relationship between people coz this religion has blindfolded people u will chose your partner based on an imajinory thing called religion. And then by talking to her for 10 min so what is the basis of relationships. Even if someone crosses this and marrys someone of other religion the same thing will happen coz this Imajinory society will induce religion again into their minds and as man has the ability to think he will spoil it.....

We have elected someone to RULE us tat itself shows our submissive charechter and we are ready to live by the rules dictated by some human being some long time ago...what is the point in living like this as Slaves for ever.....finding happiness in this mechanical life forgeting the beauty of the flower that spreads its fragrance and not noticing the stars that come at night...

Its time for a change or atleast a thought.....

Wednesday, February 16, 2005

Love Lost forever

It’s really cold and the sun is still sleeping. The windows are closed and he could hear the sound of water dripping from the leaking tap. She is sleeping next to him holding his hands with the innocence of an infant. Some early birds have started chirping. But he was determined to get up. He got up from bed without disturbing her , washed his face wrote a note that he is going for a walk and went out slowly closing the cottage door. First he thought about taking the car then he decided to walk. The watchman greeted him with a pleasant smile, the same old smile

When he was walking towards the lake all the thoughts came to his mind.... his wife.... the way she responded when he decided to go to this place. She said, “Why u wana go to this place! Is this place there in the map? Why should we loose the chance to go to Singapore”

He reached that road with trees on either side and covered with dry leaves. The leaves seem to cry when he stepped on it .it seems they also share his grief. The trees stood still without even moving a single leaf it seems the trees were shocked at this.

He was walking straight with his head down looking at something he have lost there. Suddenly he stopped there staring at one-tree tears rolled down from his eyes. He went near the tree with a low lying branch and touched the branch.

He face came to his mind, blurred and covered in fog. The eyes always afraid …the smile. He could feel her breath in his ears. All the naggings and sweet fights. It was four years back that they came to this place. They were deeply in love, inseparable. They studied in same college they were working in the same company and now she got a transfer. But he had never kissed her before never touched her except for holding her hand.

She was moving to her new office and he just wanted to drop her they just came here took a cottage and it was in the evening that they reached here. They were tired after the long drive and wanted to go to sleep she was sleeping on the bed and he was sleeping on the couch. Morning she woke him up it was really cold she seems to be fresh and the window was open. She asked him for a walk and he said yes he got ready and went out of the cottage. The watchman greeted him with a smile full of respect and affection.

They walked through the road to the lake on the way she spotted the tree with the low lying branch and they went towards it she sat on the branch and the silence was full of fragrance. Now he hissed her on the forehead she closed her eyes there was a bash of rain god had showered his blessing on them She told him” When good things happen it always rains”. He took her hand and walked towards the lake they sat there watching the tree standing alone in the middle of the lake.

They came back from the lake got dressed and dropped her at the bus stand and she said she will call up as soon as she reach the new place he went back home and…she never called up. He tried in her mobile no response then tried the office they said she didn’t join there called her home and got the message that the number Is not in use

He was desperate left alone he never heard a word from her again. Due to the compulsion he had to get married

The tears stopped it rained again he walked back to cottage and she was taking bath and she asked, “ Who is that?” He replied, “ I am back “ She said, “ Are you mad to go out at this time, I still wonder why have we come to this place” He didn’t reply She said “ Do u get coffee here? Please order one for me!, did we forget to bring the camera ?” He replied, “ I think so!”

He heard a beep from her mobile he took it .it was an SMS “ Dear I’m missing you so badly how are you when will you come back if possible call back” the number was familiar There was no change of expression on his face, plain, clear left alone. He said “ You have an SMS “ she said “ok leave it”

She came out from bathroom and saw the sms when he was sitting there and smoking he asked how is this place, his eyes were wet. She came near him held his hands and said it’s nice. …But we’ll go to Singapore next time….

Tuesday, February 15, 2005

Love Frozen

Its cold but not for him...
They are crying but he can't hear

Perfumes fill the air -
He can't smell it
Flowers surround him-
he can't see it

MOsquitos don't want him
Flies like him more

Its chill inside the glass house
He is well dressed and beautiful
I tried to talk to him
But he can't hear it

People are cryin...Fools
They don't know he is happy....
Happir than ever....
Leberated ...

Love Emerging

I have seen Love in movies around me but never inside me I always wonder is this a defect or Is this how i am ?
When I was studying in 9 th standard . I was having a tuition where in there were three people including me in my batch. One was a girl R and other a guy . The teacher used to give a hectic task...studying two essays byheart every day I never used to study this nether do Her but later on when situation got tight we made a plan and each one of us will study one essay and will copy. The guy with us doublecrossed and we got caught. I had to leave the class but we kept contact. I used to write poems. Two of my friends ahd a soft corner towards her and they wnted me to tell this to her. On the Get together day i told her their wish and she said NO...she is not interested and when iu was tellinmg her this i had a very nice feeling inside me and i donno why but i asked her if i say i love yopu what will b ur reply and she said...will telll u later
I got a call from her that day we talked a lot then it started to become a habit and we were very close but i can't say wherther i was in love with her coz i can't differentiate what love is. Still it continued and one day i told her i used to write and she wanted to see that when i gave her tat she took those from me and My forst collection of poems were gone....
Later on from a friend of mine i cme to know that she had a boy friend and first i was so angry then sad then lkeft alone...

Later on lot of girls came in my life and went twice as fast as they came....i guess they feel i am not romantic. Yea i also feel tat if Holding hands 24 Hrs , going for movie and Telling them 1001 time "I LOVE YOU " is what is being romantic then i am the worlds most unromantic person I feel romance in Silence not in being together but understanding.....

Later i met a girl through my sister she was a friend of my sis and I ahd a bet with my sis tat i will call her up and wish her B day So i called her and wished her. I started calling her we used to talk a lot...We used to talk about everything and anything....I didn't see her i didn't know how she looks . Once i met her from her house just 5 mins then we met from a Cafe then from Archies tat was one of the most unforgetable day in my life
We met from Archies and it was raining heavily i wanted to drop her at her house. We went in my car and the whole road was full of water and we went through unknown roads . And then we were stuck in traffic and when i tried to start my car it was not gettin started so i was a bit scared when i lookd at her i cud see tat she was also scared but i saw an element of trust in her eyes i dropped her at home and got a nice good cup of coffe from her mom

From tat day i was sure that it was not just friendship tat is between us its something more but its not just Love something more pure than tat.I never remembered her b day neither does she but still we were happy satisfied with that.She is the only person in this world who knows how to take me for granted. Or i really love that submission i enjoyed it. I had an affair with a junior of mine and i guess she also had Bf but i donno i never asked and she never told....But i never had to talk much to make her understand what is in my mind

One day we went to buy an application for her from one coll and suddenlt\y she stoped her bike and said she doesn't wana drive as she is havin head ache so we went in my bike and ....the most painful thing was tat i knew her marriage is gona happen any time and ....i m gona lose her but i'm helpless....

It was raining heavily when i got a call and we talked at night and she asked me...can you marry me....The qn i was waiting for for years but i couldn't say anything...I cried just cried.....I couldn't bitray my gf and ...i had no othe choice..

I some how managed to get some sleep and in the middle i woke up and saw a hallow in front of me...Hew said " Why are u disturbing me like this...i can understand the situation and both of u are not letting me sleep now i am gonna slove ur prob..." I asked him "how...?" HGe replied " If u wana marry her i will arrange it you don't have to worry abt anything" I asked him " If i marry her how long will we live" he said" 41 Yrs more " I told him " Can u do me another favour" He asked me "what ?". I asked him "can you make us Twins in the next birth " He said " why now itself i can make u marry her and if u want more life i can arrange tat also" I told him " NO i prefer being born as a twin with her so tat we can live for some 70 Yrs and 10 Months together.. The 10 Months sharing same blood everything...this u can't gimme in any other means...! " He said " Your wish is granted"

Shew got married and i gave her the same god who gave me the wish... my gf broke up and she got a new guy ...But whenever i feel lonely and left alone... i'm sure i will get a call fro her or atleat an offline message..." R u still alive.."

Monday, February 14, 2005

Unconditional Affection

This is Mysore I feel so emotionaly attached to this place . For the first time i am getting a good impression about this place . This place has the glowry of the Royal rule and the blends of Muslim Empire and british empire is still visible there It seems british have not tried to loot this place coz the palace seems to be really pampered by them and moulded to suit their lifestyle more than british style the more visile is the mughal ones Wide roads beutifully carved Buildings. Mysore has not lost its culture it seems and this place is not as pseudo as Bangalore i didn't see any pubs or papparzees in the first sight.

I went to mysore for an officical purporse The most interesting thing was after i visited Mysore diary . After my visit to diary i wanted to stay back for one more day so i wanted to go my friends place which is in a place called VIjayanagara and the time was around 7.30 and it was already very dark so i asked the official over there where is this place and how to reach there. When he was telling me the way one old man interupted my talks and told the officer that he is also going to the same place and he can help me out if i want .So officer told me that will be better coz it was already late and its hard to find the place alone. I started walking with him towards the Bus stop suddenly i got the feel of knowing him for years. I was sure i knew him for years.We got into the bus it was crowded but we reached the bus stand in some 20 min and there we were waiting for the next bus and every now and then i was askin him when will the bus come...or i will take an auto the same way i used to pester my mom ,he said its not a good idea as its not safe .

Then we boarded the second bus and on the way he was explainging the whole area to me like a guide and what i still wonder is how did i understand the whole thing coz i didn't know kannada and he was speakin to me in kannada and at times in bits and pieces of Hindi. But by the time he got down i asked his name and he told me exactly where to get down then i travelled for some more time and i was not concentrating on the road and the landmarks he had told me . Suddenly the conductor told me tat it was the stop and i asked him what ? He told me tat don't worry "YOUR GRANDPA TOLD ME TO DROP YOU HERE" i really got the feel of my grandpa , his white beard stinking on my face the same feel i used to get 19Yrs back...and lost... lost for ever...

Love

There she is ... on the corner..
There is darkness
All around in this room
The candle has melt..
The rain has stopped

There is sun...
Preparing to wake up....
Her dress is torn
There is blood on her face
Tears in her eyes
She is awake
She is alive...

Is this fate ...
Wher is god ?
Is he asleep
Or has he left hope in her ?

She can't cry...
But there is pain..
She can't stand...
There is pain..

Her eyes are red..
Dress torn...
Blood on her lips..
But a tint of joy...

Is this a curse
Or a bliss

She stood up...
Took her dress..
She was searching...
for it everywhere..
she was afraid ...
whether they betrayed her..
But she found it..
Kept under the pillow..
some dirty notes...
stinking like hell....

The woman in her is crying with pain
The devil in us is smiling at the money
There she walks
with the money she earned
Never thinking ..how she earned
always remembring...
WHY SHE EARNED !

Saturday, February 12, 2005

Loneliness

This is my first blog......... i am not so good in writing so i will better startof with somethin else

This loneliness is killing me .....
It ruins my heart......
It shatters my soul.....
I want to cry..i want to scream....

Let this tears of mine wash away my sins....
Let this love of yours....
Purify my soul...

Lonely is this sun ....
Lonely am i
Lonely is the moon....
But not the stars......

Lonely is this sparrow....
Who lost its mate....
Lonely is this tree in the midst of this lake....
Lonely am i ...
Alone am i in this world...
Sooooo Crowded.....