Sunday, June 04, 2006
Constrained Optimisation
Every individual prefers to live a happy and peaceful life. We expect our days to be bright ! Does this happen often ? Any way for me i do not think so. Human beings can never maximise happiness, human life is completely constrained. Man is born in chains and will die in chains ! The process of human life is just a change in chains, addition or deletion of the same.
Any activity a person intending to do will go through a lot of screening process within his mind and the predominent factor affecting the above is the openion of others ! So how much weightage is given for these ? Like wise millions of constraints
Is Love a constraint ???? Just this quiestion would have attracted lot of frowns i am aware of that. But i feel this way.Love is a constraint....and it continues to be one throughout his life. This chain is so strong that its number increases with age of the individual. This is the same constraint which prevents or inhibits the thoughts of a person's pursuit for eternal freedome. So isn't love a constraint ??
Love comes as Parents, Sibblings, Girl/Boy friends, Wife/Husband, Children, Grandchildren...
when is man free ?? when does he do things of his own wish ?? Being the most evolved species is he ever free to do things he wish ? Is maximisation of happiness possible ? No its optimisation , Constrained Optimisation
Monday, May 08, 2006
Saturday, April 08, 2006
Heights of Customer Service
For the first time in my life i visited a treassuary yesterday and i saw the heights of customer service. If the full form of PSC is Public Service Commission and if thats how ppl get into this office the name should be changed to Public Screwing Commission coz.
The systems there are obsolete. The Cash reciept was on one corner and then from there the challan was taken to other corner of the office which took 5 min for the peon to carry. I was instructed to wait for the callan counter foil to come. I waited for 53 mins and after utter frustration i approached the peon and he said the challan has not reached this section. I informed him tat the person who was standing behind me in the queue left 45 mins back. He went and checked again ( Another 10 mis) he came back and replied the challan was not there. Then i went back to the cash counter and he checked the floor "my challan for 75,000 Rs was lying on the floor" the peon was happy to see that it was not his mistake and he gave me the counter foil after 5 mins.
World Class service at your FOOT STEPS !!!!!
India SHINE !!! and this kerala is again set for an ellection !!!!
The systems there are obsolete. The Cash reciept was on one corner and then from there the challan was taken to other corner of the office which took 5 min for the peon to carry. I was instructed to wait for the callan counter foil to come. I waited for 53 mins and after utter frustration i approached the peon and he said the challan has not reached this section. I informed him tat the person who was standing behind me in the queue left 45 mins back. He went and checked again ( Another 10 mis) he came back and replied the challan was not there. Then i went back to the cash counter and he checked the floor "my challan for 75,000 Rs was lying on the floor" the peon was happy to see that it was not his mistake and he gave me the counter foil after 5 mins.
World Class service at your FOOT STEPS !!!!!
India SHINE !!! and this kerala is again set for an ellection !!!!
Wednesday, March 22, 2006
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
Casabianca
The boy stood on the burning deck
Whence all but he had fled;
The flame that lit the battle's wreck
Shone round him o'er the dead.
Yet beautiful and bright he stood,
As born to rule the storm;
A creature of heroic blood,
A proud, though child-like form.
The flames rolled on–he would not go
Without his Father's word;
That father, faint in death below,
His voice no longer heard.
He called aloud–'say, Father, say
If yet my task is done?
'He knew not that the chieftain lay
Unconscious of his son.
'Speak, father!' once again he cried,
'If I may yet be gone!
'And but the booming shots replied,
And fast the flames rolled on.
Upon his brow he felt their breath,
And in his waving hair,
And looked from that lone post of death
In still yet brave despair.
And shouted but once more aloud,
'My father! must I stay?
'While o'er him fast, through sail and shroud,
The wreathing fires made way.
They wrapt the ship in splendour wild,
They caught the flag on high,
And streamed above the gallant child,
Like banners in the sky.
There came a burst of thunder sound–
The boy–oh! where was he?
Ask of the winds that far around
With fragments strewed the sea!–
With mast, and helm, and pennon fair,
That well had borne their part–
But the noblest thing which perished there
Was that young faithful heart.
Felicia Hemans (1793 - 1835)
Whence all but he had fled;
The flame that lit the battle's wreck
Shone round him o'er the dead.
Yet beautiful and bright he stood,
As born to rule the storm;
A creature of heroic blood,
A proud, though child-like form.
The flames rolled on–he would not go
Without his Father's word;
That father, faint in death below,
His voice no longer heard.
He called aloud–'say, Father, say
If yet my task is done?
'He knew not that the chieftain lay
Unconscious of his son.
'Speak, father!' once again he cried,
'If I may yet be gone!
'And but the booming shots replied,
And fast the flames rolled on.
Upon his brow he felt their breath,
And in his waving hair,
And looked from that lone post of death
In still yet brave despair.
And shouted but once more aloud,
'My father! must I stay?
'While o'er him fast, through sail and shroud,
The wreathing fires made way.
They wrapt the ship in splendour wild,
They caught the flag on high,
And streamed above the gallant child,
Like banners in the sky.
There came a burst of thunder sound–
The boy–oh! where was he?
Ask of the winds that far around
With fragments strewed the sea!–
With mast, and helm, and pennon fair,
That well had borne their part–
But the noblest thing which perished there
Was that young faithful heart.
Felicia Hemans (1793 - 1835)
Tuesday, February 28, 2006
Life ?????
1. Define Life ?
A) Life is a big piece of BULL SHIT the more u take it seriously and put ur soul into it the more it will stink
2. Define Love ?
A) The process invented by god to keep guys under control. very little of it means u will crave for more too much of it means u get bugged but it never comes in the perfect mix. so the defenition can be Love is that which comes to your life like a breeze of drizzle and leave ur life like a cyclone or thunderstorm destroying your whole life
3) Define Happiness ?
A) A state of mind u can acheve only when u break all the bonds attached to u
A) Life is a big piece of BULL SHIT the more u take it seriously and put ur soul into it the more it will stink
2. Define Love ?
A) The process invented by god to keep guys under control. very little of it means u will crave for more too much of it means u get bugged but it never comes in the perfect mix. so the defenition can be Love is that which comes to your life like a breeze of drizzle and leave ur life like a cyclone or thunderstorm destroying your whole life
3) Define Happiness ?
A) A state of mind u can acheve only when u break all the bonds attached to u
Tuesday, November 01, 2005
My sweet water....
Water so pure...
Her giggles..the songs of nature...
Water so cold..
Water my soul...
There came the giant
The devil.. the cola
He married her...
He kept her in chains
He killed her parents
He locked her beloveds
Devil he is
He married my water
Devil he is
He raped her
He exploited her
She ...poor ...exhausted
Devil he is
He is selling her
He made her a prostitiute
He is selling her to her beloveds
And making them take her...
Rise and revolt
Before he kills her
Before he moves from here
In search of his next prey
Her giggles..the songs of nature...
Water so cold..
Water my soul...
There came the giant
The devil.. the cola
He married her...
He kept her in chains
He killed her parents
He locked her beloveds
Devil he is
He married my water
Devil he is
He raped her
He exploited her
She ...poor ...exhausted
Devil he is
He is selling her
He made her a prostitiute
He is selling her to her beloveds
And making them take her...
Rise and revolt
Before he kills her
Before he moves from here
In search of his next prey
Coke..the masters of business
When the students in USA revolt against the brutal acts of coke in India and Columbia ...the students of a management institute in Kerala which is just 3 hrs away from plachimada and whose student comunity has a majority of people from the district of palaghat ...is selling COCA COLA inside the campus
This is a location where students of the neighbouring college , as a protest against coke have imposed a ban on selling coke outside the campus . So what message does this convey " U wana live , u wana get a good job sell ur mom to the MD or ur wife to the MD and PLEASE him " is this a kinda life worth living.....
Its hard time we think before the devil engulfs the Homo sapiens with thnking capacity ...to death...
This is a location where students of the neighbouring college , as a protest against coke have imposed a ban on selling coke outside the campus . So what message does this convey " U wana live , u wana get a good job sell ur mom to the MD or ur wife to the MD and PLEASE him " is this a kinda life worth living.....
Its hard time we think before the devil engulfs the Homo sapiens with thnking capacity ...to death...
Wednesday, September 14, 2005
Petrol Pump Strike
Today The comparitively peaceful city of Calicut witnessed an brutal assault and murded out of revenge of a petrol pump employee
But what i want to point out is not that issue which will for sure will come in the news papers . Being vaccation me and my friend set out in my bike for a trip and i happened to go to a petrol pump to fill the relatively empty tank and i was startled by the reply of petrol pump strike as had already coverd half way and i was expecting an empty takn any moment . byt considering the emosions of the workers i decided to take a risk rather than beging ,but the fear of walking in the hot sun really made me ask the lady in the pump for atlest a half litre . But a NO really made me understand their UNITY .
The best part of the story is that when i was about to leave i saw the same lady giving petrol to not one but TWO auto rickshaws which tempted me to ask once more for petrol and even this time reply was same so i walked in their office and a much more insulting NO was the answer form the Lady sitting there
What i couldn't understand was the policy of treating customers in two different was and troubling customers who has nothing to do with the strike
This nation need to change.....
But what i want to point out is not that issue which will for sure will come in the news papers . Being vaccation me and my friend set out in my bike for a trip and i happened to go to a petrol pump to fill the relatively empty tank and i was startled by the reply of petrol pump strike as had already coverd half way and i was expecting an empty takn any moment . byt considering the emosions of the workers i decided to take a risk rather than beging ,but the fear of walking in the hot sun really made me ask the lady in the pump for atlest a half litre . But a NO really made me understand their UNITY .
The best part of the story is that when i was about to leave i saw the same lady giving petrol to not one but TWO auto rickshaws which tempted me to ask once more for petrol and even this time reply was same so i walked in their office and a much more insulting NO was the answer form the Lady sitting there
What i couldn't understand was the policy of treating customers in two different was and troubling customers who has nothing to do with the strike
This nation need to change.....
Monday, July 25, 2005
The Drizzle...
Its raining...
Its time for a change..
A journey to the unknown...
Known is Beautiful...So Let Unknown be the Most Beautiful....
There is fragrance of a red rose...All over again...
The Scent reminds the whisper , the giggles...
The Thorns...
The Hopes...The greenery...
Love is in the air...
Like a Rose bud...
Awaiting its turn..
Sunday, June 26, 2005
This is kool...
I got this format from Poornima’s blog
THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
My height (Good things come in small packets) Rest yet to figure out
THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU DON'T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
Yet to figureout
THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
Cockroach
Spider
Bat
THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
I’m not wearing three things !
FIVE BOOKS THAT MEAN SOMETHING TO YOU:
Peruvazhiyambalam
Nashtapetta Neelambari
Mein Kamph
Poems by Keats
Nanditayute Kavithakal
WHAT I AM READING RIGHT NOW:
Khalil Jibran
FIVE MOVIES THAT MEAN SOMETHING TO YOU:
The Sound of music
Message in a bottle
Namukku parkan munthiri thoppukal
Thovana thumbikal
City of angels
THE FIRST FICTIONAL CHARACTER YOU FELL IN LOVE WITH:
Sherlock holmes
THE LAST BOOK YOU BOUGHT:
Khalil Jibran
THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
Smoke one Cigar
Drink one peg on the rocks
Sleep
THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO:
Deep Forest
Bekal Fort
Thar Desert
THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
Air
Water
Tobacco
THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX THAT APPEAL TO YOU:
Long nails, short hair, thick eyebrows
THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP:
Patience
Respect for the other
Readiness to say on the face if things are not goin the right way
TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE (in no particular order):
- I’m a sadist
- I’m a communist
- I have very few friends
THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
My height (Good things come in small packets) Rest yet to figure out
THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU DON'T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
Yet to figureout
THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
Cockroach
Spider
Bat
THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
I’m not wearing three things !
FIVE BOOKS THAT MEAN SOMETHING TO YOU:
Peruvazhiyambalam
Nashtapetta Neelambari
Mein Kamph
Poems by Keats
Nanditayute Kavithakal
WHAT I AM READING RIGHT NOW:
Khalil Jibran
FIVE MOVIES THAT MEAN SOMETHING TO YOU:
The Sound of music
Message in a bottle
Namukku parkan munthiri thoppukal
Thovana thumbikal
City of angels
THE FIRST FICTIONAL CHARACTER YOU FELL IN LOVE WITH:
Sherlock holmes
THE LAST BOOK YOU BOUGHT:
Khalil Jibran
THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
Smoke one Cigar
Drink one peg on the rocks
Sleep
THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO:
Deep Forest
Bekal Fort
Thar Desert
THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
Air
Water
Tobacco
THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX THAT APPEAL TO YOU:
Long nails, short hair, thick eyebrows
THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP:
Patience
Respect for the other
Readiness to say on the face if things are not goin the right way
TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE (in no particular order):
- I’m a sadist
- I’m a communist
- I have very few friends
Thursday, June 23, 2005
Students In USA against Coke
Students Organisation For Labour and Economic Equality has organised protests against the unlawful and brutal acts ok Coca Cola Company in India and Columbia and as a result of that Mishigan university in USA has informed Coco Cola company to start an enquiry on the matter before 25th September and submit a report failing which they will bring a ban in the university on coke products and they will lose the business
This was a result of the complaint given to the university by the association one year back and the protests staged by them . In USA several universities have banned coca cola products one year back and company has a business deal of 13 Lakhs dollars with the university.
This is what a university in USA did to Coca Cola for their deeds in India ! what did our Judiciary and government do ? Isn't it worth thinking...
This was a result of the complaint given to the university by the association one year back and the protests staged by them . In USA several universities have banned coca cola products one year back and company has a business deal of 13 Lakhs dollars with the university.
This is what a university in USA did to Coca Cola for their deeds in India ! what did our Judiciary and government do ? Isn't it worth thinking...
Wednesday, June 22, 2005
USA Rejected Coke Exported from India
USFDA Rejected fanta exported by COKE INDIA to US because it was found harmful and not sutable for consumption . The consignement no: 29 B C T 99 sent in May was the one that was rejected and the reports have been published in official website of FDA .
Eventhough Centre for science and environment has found out traces of pesticide in Coke products we they are still selling it and people are still using it . That is the impact that these jiants have on our people society and culture.
Realise and react....before its too late
Eventhough Centre for science and environment has found out traces of pesticide in Coke products we they are still selling it and people are still using it . That is the impact that these jiants have on our people society and culture.
Realise and react....before its too late
Monday, June 20, 2005
COKE SUCKING OUR BLOOD
We have to open our eyes and realise what is happening in plachimada this is the time to realise and react the reaction need not be against america or Globalisation but it should atleast beagainst the factor that is hindering the normal life of people in plachimada where there is nothing to support the people . Not even the judiciary ..! where do we seek protection ?
Don't turn the page when u see plachimada , coz there is water still in your well or coz there is more interseting advertisement of aiswarya sippin coke in next page . This is not against ppl in plachimada this is against Humanity..
Don't have to revolt but at least understand and wake up from the sweet dream world where u feel no one will hamper your peace, where no one will drain out water from ur well and sell it to you ,where u think there is a judiciary to protect you and there is military to guard you....wake up and realise that "U" are the endangered ....
Love your fellow beings ... you don't have to sacrifice but at least show a helping hand ...
“At the risk of seeming ridiculous, let me say that the true revolutionary is guided by a great feeling of love.”
—Che Guevara
Don't turn the page when u see plachimada , coz there is water still in your well or coz there is more interseting advertisement of aiswarya sippin coke in next page . This is not against ppl in plachimada this is against Humanity..
Don't have to revolt but at least understand and wake up from the sweet dream world where u feel no one will hamper your peace, where no one will drain out water from ur well and sell it to you ,where u think there is a judiciary to protect you and there is military to guard you....wake up and realise that "U" are the endangered ....
Love your fellow beings ... you don't have to sacrifice but at least show a helping hand ...
“At the risk of seeming ridiculous, let me say that the true revolutionary is guided by a great feeling of love.”
—Che Guevara
Tuesday, March 08, 2005
LOVE-RAN AWAY...
He woke up in the morning and looked at the clock it was 10.45. He got out of bed and washed his face, switched on music which had become an integral part of him ..yeaterdays hangover was still there...the bottles were still lying on the table. And ashtray was full . He walked towards the main door and opened it took the News paper and milk packet it was sunday.
Reading the news paper he walked to the Kitchen, kept milk for boiling and water for Tea. He took two glases poured Milk in one and tea in other. He lit the cigarette and took a sip of tea. He started thinking about her....It all started when they were Studying in first year of Engineering he was in Mech and she was in Comp sci. They were in love for 5 years and ignoring all oppositions from their paernts they got married. The main obstrucle was their religion . After college He got a job in Blore and she got an offer from Chennai. They decided to get married and she rejected that offer he felt so bad about that and told this to her She kissed his hand and said " You are my life , i have nothing more important than you in my life "
There was happiness all around and it seems even god envied that ! Within 3 months he also got a job in Blore and by this time the resistance from her parent's side was leasening . This was a big releaf for them. Her parents started calling them frequently eventhough the topic of conversion was comming up frequntly they enjoyed it.
Finally the day came for which the were waiting for he was waiting outside the labour room and her mom was calling up very frequently from UAE. Nurse came out and Showed that angel he wanted to touch her but tears rolled down his eyes she was beautiful and innocent their Ammu .....he felt so proud.
Her parents droped in within 3 days and they had plans to be with them for 3 weeks they felt really relaxed and they had the feeling that there is some one to care for them. But things started changing when her parents started insisting on Baptising Ammu . He was really shocked when she asked him " What is wrong in that ? only they were there when we had trouble, can't we do this small favour to them" Some how it was settled and they left.
One day suddenly She resigned the job saying that she want to spend full time with ammu he agreed to that coz he always gave value to her decissions.
One day when he returened from office the front door was locked but that was usual as he was the one doing shopping he opened it with his key and went inside he went to the Kitchen and took a bottle of water from the fridge, he went inside the room and he couldn't belive that she went out leaving Ammu alone in the house. He rang up her mob and it was kept on the table and below that there was a letter
" Please don't search for me . I am leaving its not bcoz i don't love you but its coz i love him more it was something like a love we had to abandon due to constrains we tried to forget but now when we met accidently we realised how deeply attached we were..... I know u will take care of ammu better than me...."
Suddenly he felt something on his leg..it was ammu standing on his leg tightly holding his leg it was a habit for her even now she is now in 4rd standard.... Ammu said " Pappa this milk is cold...u always do this...ammu came after brushning...good girl no ?" He said yea my love you are very good, I will get you hot milk" She said " its ok pappa i was just joking...come come please switch on the TV" He gave a kiss on her forehead and tears were rolling down his eyes " Ammu asked " Pappa u r thinkin abt Mom " He said " No da never...."
Reading the news paper he walked to the Kitchen, kept milk for boiling and water for Tea. He took two glases poured Milk in one and tea in other. He lit the cigarette and took a sip of tea. He started thinking about her....It all started when they were Studying in first year of Engineering he was in Mech and she was in Comp sci. They were in love for 5 years and ignoring all oppositions from their paernts they got married. The main obstrucle was their religion . After college He got a job in Blore and she got an offer from Chennai. They decided to get married and she rejected that offer he felt so bad about that and told this to her She kissed his hand and said " You are my life , i have nothing more important than you in my life "
There was happiness all around and it seems even god envied that ! Within 3 months he also got a job in Blore and by this time the resistance from her parent's side was leasening . This was a big releaf for them. Her parents started calling them frequently eventhough the topic of conversion was comming up frequntly they enjoyed it.
Finally the day came for which the were waiting for he was waiting outside the labour room and her mom was calling up very frequently from UAE. Nurse came out and Showed that angel he wanted to touch her but tears rolled down his eyes she was beautiful and innocent their Ammu .....he felt so proud.
Her parents droped in within 3 days and they had plans to be with them for 3 weeks they felt really relaxed and they had the feeling that there is some one to care for them. But things started changing when her parents started insisting on Baptising Ammu . He was really shocked when she asked him " What is wrong in that ? only they were there when we had trouble, can't we do this small favour to them" Some how it was settled and they left.
One day suddenly She resigned the job saying that she want to spend full time with ammu he agreed to that coz he always gave value to her decissions.
One day when he returened from office the front door was locked but that was usual as he was the one doing shopping he opened it with his key and went inside he went to the Kitchen and took a bottle of water from the fridge, he went inside the room and he couldn't belive that she went out leaving Ammu alone in the house. He rang up her mob and it was kept on the table and below that there was a letter
" Please don't search for me . I am leaving its not bcoz i don't love you but its coz i love him more it was something like a love we had to abandon due to constrains we tried to forget but now when we met accidently we realised how deeply attached we were..... I know u will take care of ammu better than me...."
Suddenly he felt something on his leg..it was ammu standing on his leg tightly holding his leg it was a habit for her even now she is now in 4rd standard.... Ammu said " Pappa this milk is cold...u always do this...ammu came after brushning...good girl no ?" He said yea my love you are very good, I will get you hot milk" She said " its ok pappa i was just joking...come come please switch on the TV" He gave a kiss on her forehead and tears were rolling down his eyes " Ammu asked " Pappa u r thinkin abt Mom " He said " No da never...."
Friday, March 04, 2005
Love Nature
Call me oh my mother
To lie on your lap
Sing me those lullabies
with the spoftest of your leaves
Show me my brothers
I am tired of being lonely
Gimme our toys
I want to play free and easy
I don't want tommorrow
I hate yesterday
Bathe me with the shower
The purest water on earth
Feed me with the fruits
You made specially for me
Let me lie on your lap
Let me forget my sorrows
Let me overcome this loneliness
These burdens of life
To lie on your lap
Sing me those lullabies
with the spoftest of your leaves
Show me my brothers
I am tired of being lonely
Gimme our toys
I want to play free and easy
I don't want tommorrow
I hate yesterday
Bathe me with the shower
The purest water on earth
Feed me with the fruits
You made specially for me
Let me lie on your lap
Let me forget my sorrows
Let me overcome this loneliness
These burdens of life
Sunday, February 27, 2005
Confussion
This is not my usual blog i have decided to give a break to desperation coz this desp. is filling my life now....and this loneliness is becoming a part of me now....i am now in bangalore ..i find nothing interesting in life.. i get up in the morning at around 7 -7.30 there is 20min drive to my off so will reach off at around 9 then drive like a slave do whatever they say with absolutely no interest as our office is short of man power stay in off till 9-10.30 come back drink listen to some music these days Bombay Jayasree ,some keerthanams or gazals...again same thing....i find no reason to enjoy life and no reason to be happy
I went home last week the moment i reached my place one tear drop came from my eyes i loved tat security and warmth of my house my favourate plants my doggie my bed....whay am i living like this . Without anything interesting in my life ?
This metro city is suffocating me pseudo all around i know its none of my business but still i don't understand why girls in blore wear sleeve less in this cold climate esp at night and why are they so interested in showing their Underwear outside i have nothing to do with this but still i don't understand . Where are we heading ? relations becoming shorter.... values diminishing....love loosing its meaning....
I don't know why i am living this life i have an option of leaving this job and going home why am i not doing it ..Money this is reality ...we need money...for what ? for making more money ...but what is the use a life so boring and waste....
I went home last week the moment i reached my place one tear drop came from my eyes i loved tat security and warmth of my house my favourate plants my doggie my bed....whay am i living like this . Without anything interesting in my life ?
This metro city is suffocating me pseudo all around i know its none of my business but still i don't understand why girls in blore wear sleeve less in this cold climate esp at night and why are they so interested in showing their Underwear outside i have nothing to do with this but still i don't understand . Where are we heading ? relations becoming shorter.... values diminishing....love loosing its meaning....
I don't know why i am living this life i have an option of leaving this job and going home why am i not doing it ..Money this is reality ...we need money...for what ? for making more money ...but what is the use a life so boring and waste....
Wednesday, February 16, 2005
Love Lost forever
It’s really cold and the sun is still sleeping. The windows are closed and he could hear the sound of water dripping from the leaking tap. She is sleeping next to him holding his hands with the innocence of an infant. Some early birds have started chirping. But he was determined to get up. He got up from bed without disturbing her , washed his face wrote a note that he is going for a walk and went out slowly closing the cottage door. First he thought about taking the car then he decided to walk. The watchman greeted him with a pleasant smile, the same old smile
When he was walking towards the lake all the thoughts came to his mind.... his wife.... the way she responded when he decided to go to this place. She said, “Why u wana go to this place! Is this place there in the map? Why should we loose the chance to go to Singapore”
He reached that road with trees on either side and covered with dry leaves. The leaves seem to cry when he stepped on it .it seems they also share his grief. The trees stood still without even moving a single leaf it seems the trees were shocked at this.
He was walking straight with his head down looking at something he have lost there. Suddenly he stopped there staring at one-tree tears rolled down from his eyes. He went near the tree with a low lying branch and touched the branch.
He face came to his mind, blurred and covered in fog. The eyes always afraid …the smile. He could feel her breath in his ears. All the naggings and sweet fights. It was four years back that they came to this place. They were deeply in love, inseparable. They studied in same college they were working in the same company and now she got a transfer. But he had never kissed her before never touched her except for holding her hand.
She was moving to her new office and he just wanted to drop her they just came here took a cottage and it was in the evening that they reached here. They were tired after the long drive and wanted to go to sleep she was sleeping on the bed and he was sleeping on the couch. Morning she woke him up it was really cold she seems to be fresh and the window was open. She asked him for a walk and he said yes he got ready and went out of the cottage. The watchman greeted him with a smile full of respect and affection.
They walked through the road to the lake on the way she spotted the tree with the low lying branch and they went towards it she sat on the branch and the silence was full of fragrance. Now he hissed her on the forehead she closed her eyes there was a bash of rain god had showered his blessing on them She told him” When good things happen it always rains”. He took her hand and walked towards the lake they sat there watching the tree standing alone in the middle of the lake.
They came back from the lake got dressed and dropped her at the bus stand and she said she will call up as soon as she reach the new place he went back home and…she never called up. He tried in her mobile no response then tried the office they said she didn’t join there called her home and got the message that the number Is not in use
He was desperate left alone he never heard a word from her again. Due to the compulsion he had to get married
The tears stopped it rained again he walked back to cottage and she was taking bath and she asked, “ Who is that?” He replied, “ I am back “ She said, “ Are you mad to go out at this time, I still wonder why have we come to this place” He didn’t reply She said “ Do u get coffee here? Please order one for me!, did we forget to bring the camera ?” He replied, “ I think so!”
He heard a beep from her mobile he took it .it was an SMS “ Dear I’m missing you so badly how are you when will you come back if possible call back” the number was familiar There was no change of expression on his face, plain, clear left alone. He said “ You have an SMS “ she said “ok leave it”
She came out from bathroom and saw the sms when he was sitting there and smoking he asked how is this place, his eyes were wet. She came near him held his hands and said it’s nice. …But we’ll go to Singapore next time….
When he was walking towards the lake all the thoughts came to his mind.... his wife.... the way she responded when he decided to go to this place. She said, “Why u wana go to this place! Is this place there in the map? Why should we loose the chance to go to Singapore”
He reached that road with trees on either side and covered with dry leaves. The leaves seem to cry when he stepped on it .it seems they also share his grief. The trees stood still without even moving a single leaf it seems the trees were shocked at this.
He was walking straight with his head down looking at something he have lost there. Suddenly he stopped there staring at one-tree tears rolled down from his eyes. He went near the tree with a low lying branch and touched the branch.
He face came to his mind, blurred and covered in fog. The eyes always afraid …the smile. He could feel her breath in his ears. All the naggings and sweet fights. It was four years back that they came to this place. They were deeply in love, inseparable. They studied in same college they were working in the same company and now she got a transfer. But he had never kissed her before never touched her except for holding her hand.
She was moving to her new office and he just wanted to drop her they just came here took a cottage and it was in the evening that they reached here. They were tired after the long drive and wanted to go to sleep she was sleeping on the bed and he was sleeping on the couch. Morning she woke him up it was really cold she seems to be fresh and the window was open. She asked him for a walk and he said yes he got ready and went out of the cottage. The watchman greeted him with a smile full of respect and affection.
They walked through the road to the lake on the way she spotted the tree with the low lying branch and they went towards it she sat on the branch and the silence was full of fragrance. Now he hissed her on the forehead she closed her eyes there was a bash of rain god had showered his blessing on them She told him” When good things happen it always rains”. He took her hand and walked towards the lake they sat there watching the tree standing alone in the middle of the lake.
They came back from the lake got dressed and dropped her at the bus stand and she said she will call up as soon as she reach the new place he went back home and…she never called up. He tried in her mobile no response then tried the office they said she didn’t join there called her home and got the message that the number Is not in use
He was desperate left alone he never heard a word from her again. Due to the compulsion he had to get married
The tears stopped it rained again he walked back to cottage and she was taking bath and she asked, “ Who is that?” He replied, “ I am back “ She said, “ Are you mad to go out at this time, I still wonder why have we come to this place” He didn’t reply She said “ Do u get coffee here? Please order one for me!, did we forget to bring the camera ?” He replied, “ I think so!”
He heard a beep from her mobile he took it .it was an SMS “ Dear I’m missing you so badly how are you when will you come back if possible call back” the number was familiar There was no change of expression on his face, plain, clear left alone. He said “ You have an SMS “ she said “ok leave it”
She came out from bathroom and saw the sms when he was sitting there and smoking he asked how is this place, his eyes were wet. She came near him held his hands and said it’s nice. …But we’ll go to Singapore next time….
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)